Rubber Dog

Someone just asked me in the past 24 hours if I'd ever tried some of those yummy veggie dogs? You know I have, but it was years ago and such a revolting experience that I've just never gone back. I really could have gotten as much pleasure if I'd cut up our outdoor rubber garden hose and heated the pieces up in the microwave for consumption. Yup... those veggie dogs were pretty bad! I remember the kids kept gagging every few bites. I felt so guilty! and them asking, "where are the other hot dogs, mom?...and why do we have to have these kinds?"...because THESE hotdogs are GOOD for you! and it doesn't matter if they taste like rubber...they are NOT rubber... it's just a wonderful new taste that we all aren't used to yet. Look at mommy... see, I am really enjoying mine...and especially with that nice pickled hotdog relish that daddy brought home. You should try it... hmmm...yum, it is really good!
Of course, once my children had left the table and gone back to their child's play, etc., my husband turned to me and said, "You didn't really like those did you?" Of course not!... "so are we going to get them again?"...NO...never!...and then, "well, what about us wanting the kids to eat healthier?"... "oh I don't know", I sighed...and feeling so defeated. "Maybe I'll just slice up an extra tomato everyday or something... or buy some pine nuts for them to snack on between meals... or make some patties out of oatmeal...or..."
...The next night when our children were back at the table, they asked if we were having 'those' hotdogs again. No, daddy and I ate all the rest of them that were left over last night when you were in bed, I said. They were amazed at how much mommy and daddy liked the new hotdogs!!! I wondered later why I felt compelled to tell our children that we'd eaten them when we hadn't at all. I guess I didn't want to admit we'd done something totally uncharacteristic to our food morals and thrown them out! ...I could have hoped that some crazy dog came along and went through the trash cans and devoured them for a snack. Now think of that!... A dog eating a rubber dog!...hmmm... now THERE'S a good match! ...someone should move those veggie dogs down to the pet food aisle!
naomimantra naomimantra
46-50, F
Jul 24, 2010