I Have Friends With Benefits

It'S A Very Stupid Idea

By: Brandymgould

Written on February 3rd, 2013

We meet ten years ago. We have had a pretty good friendship and we have always got along well. We were both married at the time. He is divorced and I am at the end of my divorce. It started about 2 months ago. We talked all the time and one night we crossed the line. The sex was amazing! We still spoke to each other a lot. He has done so many nice things to help me out, money, use of his wireless Internet, picked things from the store....the list goes on. He has been clear he isn't emotionally ready for a relationship. (Red flag) we have common interests and our kids are friends. Now we never gone out anywhere. We just sit at his house or mine, eat and watch movies. Recently he has said that I have been in a long relationship maybe I should date because I have always been married and never single since I was 17. I said nah....possible in 6 months I might. We kept the friends with benefits idea because we both are not looking to get into a relationship. I told him I might be developing a small crush. He said no more sex just friends. We still talked but no sex. Last night I asked him to come over and he ignored the text. I texted a few more time and nothing. So I just told him to **** off. I told him " I was your friend( good enough to F just not good enough to invest in." Now I want to be a stranger. I told him never to contact me, he wasn't welcome here and treat me as he never knew me. My friend thinks he'll call me next week to either repair our friendship or ask for a relationship. I don't think so..opinions needed.

By: Brandymgould

Age: 36-40

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4 responses

butterflylady21

HMM Sounds like the men. I have meet lately. It a new thing for me. You will be fine in time. He needs to deal with this.

Feb 23
1 like
Enigma5000

It's not just that he is scared of commitment he is also scared of hurting you. Because he feels that he can't return the feelings you have for him. If he didn't care about you he would have played along with the crush thing so that he could still have sex.

Feb 21
1 like
givemeu1

The bottom line is that most men are scared of commitment or even the slightest que that you have crossed the line from sex to a completely different emotion. The moment you spoke of a small crush and he gave his response, that was it. A friend is a friend and will not run from the truth but will simply be there for you regardless of the outcome. A friend will call back or text back. Guys have a hard time showing their emotions and would rather run than show how they're actually feeling. It's not fair that we have to endure the negative but it shows us what we don't need. As hard as it is to accept, you can't make him open up, you can't make him love you, or reciprocate those feelings unless he is ready. FWB is a sticky situation and usually ends up with someone getting hurt. My advice? Do not contact him, do not get all worked up and show how you're really feeling over a text or voicemail. That will not help things. Leave him be for the moment and let him soul search. He's probably scared or just a jerk. I would say he's scared. Never give up on a friend, but don't chase him either. You will only push him farther. Best Wishes

Feb 17
1 like
phoenix2011

I agree with Oneness.... It is very hard not to get emotional attached to someone when you are having sex with someone. I have had the same problems with that. I have had to check myself many times and pretty much pull myself away. give myself a break so to speak. I think you need to find some girlfriends to give your self some breathing room. Find something to keep yourself busy.

Feb 12
1 like

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