Mine was mostly name-calling.. Didn't know that name calling is bullying?

I saw the poll on EP asking I've ever been bullied and if I had been, does it affect me now.  I never asked myself that question, in fact, I always believed before this I was never bullied before, because I always thought of bullying as something extreme.  But I think I just realized that as I kid, I had been bullied before. I'm not sure if every kid has experienced some form of bullying, but I know I did. This is from Wikipedia about Bullying:

"the act of intentionally causing harm to others, through verbal harassment, physical assault, or other more subtle methods of coercion such as manipulation. Bullying can be defined in many different ways.

In colloquial speech, bullying often describes a form of harassment perpetrated by an abuser who possesses more physical and/or social power and dominance than the victim. The victim of bullying is sometimes referred to as a target. The harassment can be verbal, physical and/or emotional. Sometimes bullies will pick on people bigger or smaller than their size. Bullies hurt people verbally and physically. There are many reasons for that. One of them is because the bullies themselves are or have been the victim of bullying[4][5][6] (e.g. a bullying child who is abused at home, or bullying adults who are abused by their colleagues).

Many programs have been started to prevent bullying at schools with promotional speakers. Bullying consists of two types - verbal and physical.

Norwegian researcher Dan Olweus defines bullying as when a person is "exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other persons." He defines negative action as "when a person intentionally inflicts injury or discomfort upon another person, through physical contact, through words or in other ways."[7]

Bullying can occur in any setting where human beings interact with each other. This includes school, church, the workplace, home and neighborhoods. It is even a common push factor in migration. Bullying can exist between social groups, social classes and even between countries (see Jingoism)."

And Wikipedia's definition of Bullying:

"Bullying is an act of repeated aggressive behavior in order to intentionally hurt another person, physically or mentally. Bullying is characterized by an individual behaving in a certain way to gain power over another person (Besag, 1989). Behaviors may include name calling, verbal or written abuse, exclusion from activities, exclusion from social situations, physical abuse, or coercion (Carey, 2003; Whitted & Dupper, 2005). Bullies may behave this way to be perceived as popular or tough or to get attention. They may bully out of jealousy or be acting out because they themselves are bullied (Crothers & Levinson, 2004).

USA National Center for Education Statistics suggests that bullying can be broken into two categories: Direct bullying, and indirect bullying which is also known as social aggression.[1]

Ross states that direct bullying involves a great deal of physical aggression such as shoving and poking, throwing things, slapping, choking, punching and kicking, beating, stabbing, pulling hair, scratching, biting, scraping and pinching.[8]

He also suggests that social aggression or indirect bullying is characterized by threatening the victim into social isolation. This isolation is achieved through a wide variety of techniques, including spreading gossip, refusing to socialize with the victim, bullying other people who wish to socialize with the victim, and criticizing the victim's manner of dress and other socially-significant markers (including the victim's race, religion, disability, etc). Ross (1998)[8] outlines other forms of indirect bullying which are more subtle and more likely to be verbal, such as name calling, the silent treatment, arguing others into submission, manipulation, gossip/ false gossip, lies, rumors/ false rumors, staring, giggling, laughing at the victim, saying certain words that trigger a reaction from a past event, and mocking. Children's charity Act Against Bullying was set up in 2003 to help children who were victims of this type of bullying by researching and publishing coping skills."


After seeing the poll and defining what Bullying is, I finally came to the conclusion that I have been bullied before as a kid. It all makes sense now, I didn't really think I was but now when I think of some of those petty mean things some kids would say to me it did affect me.  The bullies were my 2 older sisters, and in my childhood from afew kids who were mean arrogant bas**rds.  I think my older sisters did it out of trying to dominate me, (yes, the sibling heirarchy crap, siblings can be cruel when you're children/teens) and because of the sibling rivalry.  It was verbal abuse, like name calling and finding weakpoints that you were self-conscious about, and picking on you for it. My older sister would call me "ugly" at times (when I was younger that word used to stung like crap & she knew it) just because she knew I was self-conscious about myself when I was preteen/teen, and I think it affected my self-esteem at the time.  My other sister would call me "anorexic", but that was BSh*T because I felt healthy and normal weight. I think she did it out of spite because she was always bigger and in American society, saying somebody is fat or chubby is not OK but ohh its okay to call somebody anorexic when they're naturally skinny. I knew that in my head, but when I was younger that still used to hurt alittle. HMM.. That is BULLYING! My other sister, I think she called me ugly because she herself was probably called ugly or not pretty and she was finding somebody who was more self-conscious than her to name call to make herself feel better. And I think actually, her boyfriend used to say mean things to her as well, and etc. It's so stupid! It's a dang cycle of bullying/name calling. I'm so glad that I didn't spread it because I'm not that type of person to be domineering or feel like I should have "power" to make myself feel better? To hurt people to make myself feel better? Thats f**d up. Even to this day, I don't really know their intentions when they said those things. Maybe they were just poking fun? But I've always been a sensitive person. What I did was as the younger sibling was what I thought best, which was to defend myself and counter-attack their name bashing. Oh yeah the other kids that's another story.

Looking back at all that, that does kind of contribute to who I am today. For instance, I know I'm kind of vain, and at the same time, more accepting of my image. Now I'm not that skinny as I was when I was growing up, I have a womanly body and know that no matter what, I have and have always had my own beauty, my own uniqueness, my own feelings of what is beautiful and who is beautiful. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I see my sisters and do not think and know we are all different and accept that, and they feel the same. We all grew up to have our own unique figures and minds, our own unique beauty. Does that make sense? Don't ever let someone try to dictate or gain power over you. It's your life, and you are the only one who has the power to say that! 

I look back and think the "whys" of why those people would think of saying those things in the first place and hurting people intentionally, which is naive and stupid.  I learn that forgiving and pity is better because they thought at the time they should feel they should put others down because they were put down themselves, or that they need to have power over somebody by putting them down to make themselves to feel better. On the bright side,  they could have been  secretly envious and jealous of you, and did that to hurt you (which is stupid, anyway)

Those little things did affect me. But I broke free from that, and I will never fall that way again. I grew a backbone, got some guts, and fought for what I believed in! Also, accepting what happened, forgiving, and growing stronger from it, I think that's what matters most. Never let those feelings of pride or whatever they feel they need to feed off of you, get to you and instead question their way of thinking (which is what I've done in the past too). I think alot at times, they don't even realize they're doing it.


anonymousgw1001 anonymousgw1001
Feb 28, 2009