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Endless Battles

Before I forced myself to not eat, and throw up whenever I did. Now its a struggle to eat at all. Recovering from an eating disorder, its been over a year since my last r relapse. After eating I noticed right away the sharp pains were back. I've had these before, and they went away, so I didn't think much of it. They were so bad that I couldn't stand up straight. Noticing that greasey foods mostly trigger these pains, I've de ided to cut those out of my diet. That seemed to help for a bit, but then nafter eating anythhing I would haave extreme discomfort. Weight has been falling off me so quickly, I blamed it on working too much, no time to eat, but I knew I was hungry all the time and I could only eat small bits very slowly to avoid pain and discomfort. I love food, but my appetite hasn't existed for the past few months. Even after a small meal, my stomach would expand stick out, looking like my upper stomach was fat and mylower stomach was thin. Completely kind of opposite. There's been times where the pain was so unbareable, and I had to be at work on my feet, so I made myself throw up my lunch because it hurt too much to deal with. Every day is a struggle, because I have a hard time feeding myself well to get the nutrients I need to be healthy, its no longer satisfying to be full, iwhen I go out with friends I'm always thinking about what I can or can't have, I have to plan my meals out and snack lall day which can be hard on my teenage wallet, but since there's no cure I have to accept and adjust. Its hard. The only thing I've really ever wanted was to eat normally. Like every other person. To eat without thinking. To eat for tasteand appreciation, food is apart of everyone culture, and I feel like I can't have a part of it.
machotaco machotaco 18-21, F 37 Responses Aug 17, 2012

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That sounds beyond horrible... I hope you find a treatment plan that will help!

Wow that really sucks. I really hope u get better an u'll always be in my thoughts (:

I have been suffering with stomach and chest area pain for 5 months since adding gluten back to my diet so I could be officially tested. Previously gluten gave me bloating and lower abdomen pain and running to the toilet, but this time I got all this pain in my chest area and throat. ALL tests came back negative for celiac, Gluten intolerance ( though this was done early in my experiment) endoscopy was fine ( apart from a small hernia) I didn't want the doctor's pills, tried every diet and herbal remedy- slippery elm bark did help sooth a bit. I came off gluten and the symptoms stayed - I was in constant pain day and night. I wondered what was wrong with me...Time went on...weeks... and gradually the pain reduced (I did eat a lot of liquidised food because solids were like eating a bag of nails. This helped me cope) After a week of much reduced pain, I reintroduced gluten gradually the pains became more frequent again...10 days later it came back to 24 hour intense pain...kick the gluten I thought....a few weeks later things eased again. Fool me, had a bit of gluten this week after 5 days of only slight discomfort- easing to pain free and hey presto I'm in pain again today whenever I eat.
It has to be gluten...the evidence if not the tests prove this... But it takes around 6 weeks off it to get the improvement. I know docs are not keen for people to go on a GF diet, but seriously the change in me is unbelievable . Maybe it will work for one other person and you don't need a doc to give you permission to eat Gfree- just do some homework on getting a balanced diet. But it takes time and persistence and diligence. I hope someone can be helped by this experience of mine- even one will be worth my 5 month experiment.

Dear Machotaco: I can relate, although I think it might be worse to be going through this at your age, and alone, and with no diagnosis to explain it. I am pushing 70, and my gastroparesis is surgically induced; the result of an esophagectomy and gastric pull-up for esophageal cancer. There are at least several thousand of us in this country with this situation, and about half of us are in an on-line support group. We share experiences and advice and tips on how to cope with the problems. Before I found the group, I was routinely getting nauseated after every meal, and vomiting several times a day. The doctors were no help. They just cut us up, which I admit saved our lives, but then dump us back out in the world with no advice or support. It has taken me six years to achieve some sort of stability, but that can fall apart in a week if I am not careful, or if I HAVE to do something that upsets the balance, like take an antibiotic or something. I hope you can find the help you need. Are there any on-line or in-person support groups for your condition? I am sorry I am so late responding to this, but I got busy and just filed all these postings until I had time to read them. You can e-mail me at judmilla@juno.com , if you like. Hang in there.

I completely understand your pain. It is debilitating. Unfortunately doctors will only prescribe a made up drug to get rid of the symptoms and not help you heal at all. When I was 24 I also had severe pain in my lower right side, went to the doctor and they told me I had to have my colon removed, EXCUSE ME? I was 24, now I am 44 and have cured my problem Naturally and you all can too! It is very simple if we remember every food and every body has enzymes that keep our systems functioning well. I went to school and taught myself all about nutrition and the anatomy and physiology of the body and found how wrong doctors are and how evil drugs really are and the truth eludes us all if we listen to doctors. Here are some web sites to get these natural enzymes back in your system, It's way cheaper then prescribed crap, and you will feel a difference in a matter of days. Just to say, I have no connection with any of these companies I just want to help people get well and stay well. I take these enzymes myself and thank God I do or the doctors would have had a field day removing my body parts, and I need those body parts, don't you? Please keep in mind as well that every body is different so read carefully and educate yourself. <br />
<br />
http://www.candidasupport.org/candida_recovery_guide.html <br />
<br />
At this site you will find a wide variety of fantastic products, check the symptom page and get the items that apply to you. I take the flora five and the calcium supplement, clearly as I get older I need more calcium. And the flora five keeps my colon balanced, no more pain!<br />
<br />
http://www.herbalremedies.com/enzymes.html<br />
<br />
This is a great site too really teaches a lot of things<br />
I take the amylase and Lipase, they help a lot if I have eaten too much sugar or fats.<br />
<br />
The most important thing about these enzymes is you can't OD on them or poison yourself if you take to much, you will just get the S**ts. then you know to cut back a little.<br />
<br />
Also, it is vital we remember the human body has a need to have a proper PH balance, much like a rose bush. We should all have a little vinegar in our diets, I take Vinegar tablets from the NOW company. Works wonders if you get heartburn. <br />
<br />
I hope this helps all of you out there who have pain I know it changed my life, replenish what an eating disorder destroyed or a bad diet destroyed and you will feel so much better!

I completely understand your pain. It is debilitating. Unfortunately doctors will only prescribe a made up drug to get rid of the symptoms and not help you heal at all. When I was 24 I also had severe pain in my lower right side, went to the doctor and they told me I had to have my colon removed, EXCUSE ME? I was 24, now I am 44 and have cured my problem Naturally and you all can too! It is very simple if we remember every food and every body has enzymes that keep our systems functioning well. I went to school and taught myself all about nutrition and the anatomy and physiology of the body and found how wrong doctors are and how evil drugs really are and the truth eludes us all if we listen to doctors. Here are some web sites to get these natural enzymes back in your system, It's way cheaper then prescribed crap, and you will feel a difference in a matter of days. Just to say, I have no connection with any of these companies I just want to help people get well and stay well. I take these enzymes myself and thank God I do or the doctors would have had a field day removing my body parts, and I need those body parts, don't you? Please keep in mind as well that every body is different so read carefully and educate yourself. <br />
<br />
http://www.candidasupport.org/candida_recovery_guide.html <br />
<br />
At this site you will find a wide variety of fantastic products, check the symptom page and get the items that apply to you. I take the flora five and the calcium supplement, clearly as I get older I need more calcium. And the flora five keeps my colon balanced, no more pain!<br />
<br />
http://www.herbalremedies.com/enzymes.html<br />
<br />
This is a great site too really teaches a lot of things<br />
I take the amylase and Lipase, they help a lot if I have eaten too much sugar or fats.<br />
<br />
The most important thing about these enzymes is you can't OD on them or poison yourself if you take to much, you will just get the S**ts. then you know to cut back a little.<br />
<br />
Also, it is vital we remember the human body has a need to have a proper PH balance, much like a rose bush. We should all have a little vinegar in our diets, I take Vinegar tablets from the NOW company. Works wonders if you get heartburn. <br />
<br />
I hope this helps all of you out there who have pain I know it changed my life, replenish what an eating disorder destroyed or a bad diet destroyed and you will feel so much better!

I have a suggestion. I was suffering from severe back pain which centered directly in the small of my back. I felt the pain was coming internally so I started reading info on colonic irrigation. This is where they pump water into your lower and upper intestine and the tube is large enough to emit the waste that is flushed out. Its not painful and completely natural. The purpose is to clean the colon so it can process wastes better. Over the years we all end up with an accumulation of gunk that coats the intestines, the result is it cant process the waste properly and you end up with discomfort. Im 64 yrs old, and if itwasnt for the grey hair I porbably would look 50. I weigh exactly 25bls heavier now than when I left highschool. I was skinny, 98 lbsl wet. Most of my friends think im 55 , I outwork all my coworkers, have great stamina and am a firm believer in this proceedure. What have you got to loose, its only pure water they inject through the emema type nozzle. Google it, read and then think about adding a blood sweep and I bet you will start to feel better and eat anything you want.

Sorry, did not leave address, bsliprluvr re, i have a suggestion

I too have gastrpareisis. My doctor has put me on a medication (domperidome), which is used for this condition in Europe. It is not an FDA approved drug, but since it has virtually no side effects, I decided to try it. My doctor called it into a compounding pharmacy where it cost me $111.00 per month. I found it helped quite a bit. I then started ordering it from a certain drug mart in Canada, where it cost $149. including shipping for a 3 month supply. It has worked quite well for me. I have also seen my endocrinologist, who changed my thyroid meds according to my blood work. Meow that I am on a proper dosage of thyroid meds, I find my stomach problem has kind of corrected itself. I have been feeling much better with the stomach issues. Good luck.

i know how you feel x x

Have yourself checked for a gluteen allergy.

You know, you may have Celiac or be wheat-intolerant. Other food sensitivities can cause the symptoms you're having but gluten or wheat sensitivity is the most common. Try eliminating all wheat and gluten from your diet and see if you start feeling better in a few days. Wheat has been so hybridized and changed that many people are becoming unable to eat it. I know, I'm one of them. Wheat and gluten appear in unexpected places sometimes, like dry roasted peanuts, so you have to read labels on absolutely everything.<br />
<br />
I am unable to eat wheat, eggs, soy, dairy, yeast and tapioca so I understand where you're coming from. I've gotten a lot of good ideas from the gluten free girl website. Her husband is a chef so they have some great ideas and recipes.<br />
<br />
It helps only marginally, but know that a lot of others are in your situation and have empathy and support for you. Ignore any and all criticism or belittling you might get and do what you need to do for yourself. My prayers are with you.

Are you sure, positive, that this is incurable ?????.. Go to a "TEACHING HOSPITAL" a locol or State run University. for instance,, the University of -whatever state or city that you live in.. They have more resources then your locol hospitals, the BEST doctors, and are able to help you feel better in a very short time. I have been to University hospitals for many serious things and ALWAYS had excellent results. I hope you take my advice and feel better soon.

It is so very hard to watch what you eat, and I'm so sorry you are dealing with pain and discomfort. Know that most of us cannot eat without thinking about any repercussions, whether it's a health issue or a weight issue. My thoughts are with you.

Oh, my gosh...I am so sorry that you are dealing with such a terrible situation. I really hope you can get the help you need from a doctor and maybe they can put you on a special diet. I will be thinking of you and hoping you are getting better every day. Take care...<3

Can you go to a gastrointestinal doctor? I know plenty of people who experienced symptoms similar to what you're describing and although frustrating there are ways to handle it. God always throws challenges our way to test our mental will power. You can do whatever you put your mind too. Yoga is one way of controlling the stress that you may be feeling. Your current and honesty in explaining your situation above is one indication of your ability to move forward with this. I do believe that you will succeed. It is one second one minute one hour and one day at a time. Nothing is impossible. I had a recommend visiting with a gesture intestinal specialist or a physician at your local clinic. How little story… My cousin has gluten allergies and is diabetic… So it's very difficult for her to eat anywhere else and anywhere that she goes. She always has to prepare her food and carry snacks with her at all times and it is very frustrating and scary. My phone has terrible food allergies and you just never know what kind of flareup it's going to affect him so these two people handle it and I know you can handle it too. My friend is a survivor of anorexia and she hasn't relapsed in the past four years and has two beautiful children. I know you will get through this.

From: innocentraco.........Machotaco i 'want u to know that all things are possible with God. Your case is too small to compare what God can do. He who knows the secret of every heart knows what u are passing through right now. What u need most right now is to give him chance in ur life. Give ur life to him'accept him as ur own personal lord and saviour. I' give u my word' If u do that. He ll' re address every ugly situation in life. Never u give up on urself. God has a wonderful future for u. And i'want u to know that ur end shall be greater than ur beginning. From innocentraco/ikechukwuobi

I have heard that sungazing can lower your need to eat food or feel hungry it might be worth a try because i have done it before for a few minutes and i dont feel as hungry afterwards. I will try to get a link about it. it is said that the sun contains vitamin d which is a human necessary. you might want to also trry a raw food diet which i havent tried but it might be worth it because what ive read it detoxifies the body.

I'm so sorry you're struggling. You're in my thoughts.

Read the book " The paleo solution " from Robb Wolf. Bestseller!!! For people with similar problems like yours. If you wish I can send you more info's about this subject, links etc. I feel with you very much! Stay strong, there is really solution!

Dear Woman,<br />
Who told you that it is incurable? Modern doctors? There no illness that is not curable, even cancer. Get yourself a good Yogi instructor (preferably Indian) or good books about Yoga (not about exercise ba<x>sed on Yoga principles) and gently start practising; yogi mind, yogi diet, yogi lifestyle, yogi exercise. Yoga is a healer you can trust. Make sure you study the subject properly. Yoga pulled me through most difficult situations and never let me down where the health concern. Wish you all the best.<br />
ExperienceHope

Yes! Yoga has so many amazing health benefits, and it's been around for eons. That in itself should be a testament in favor of it, otherwise it would have fizzled out already.

I suffer from Gastroparesis and there is no cure for it. I've tried yoga, meditation, digestive enzymes, diet changes, western medicines, acupuncture, medications, and chiropractors. Now I am stuck on liquid nutrion pumped through my veins due to my inability to keep any substance in my system. I mean no water, no foods no matter how pure and organic they are, nothing stays down. I'm sorry but you cannot make a broad spectrum statement like no illness is incurable.

I am so sorry to hear what you have to go through on a daily basis. I have some of the same pains when I eat too but you have it so much worse. I am sorry for you and I want you to know you will always have a friend in me. Please feel free to talk, vent, or need a shoulder to cry on, I will be here for you. I do understand you don't know anything about me but I am a good person who will be here for you any time you need me. My name is kelly, only between you and me, I hope to hear from you any time you need a friend. Keep your head up sweet heart

I was prescribed a medication for the pain caused by arthritis in my knees, and didn't realize the medication wasn't supposed to be taken more than a few months. I was throwing up almost everything i ate - gastroparesis. I even had an exam (i forgot the name) where i was put to sleep and my gastroenterologist put a camera down to examine inside of me. I'd not had the money for round trip bus fare twenty-five miles and then cab fare for close to a year to go to doctors' appointments - including my orthopedist, and he'd never told me that medication he'd prescribed was only supposed to be short term. I found that out on my own, and when i stopped taking that med, my gastroparesis disappeared within a few days. Able to resume travel to doctor appointments, i switched orthopedists, because the one time i saw that prescribing doctor after resolving my own problem, he said to what'd happened, "Oh well - sometimes things don't happen the way we'd like them to". Despite my gastroparesis occurring while unable to travel to med appts which would've included him and his likely switching me off that med causing my gastroparesis, because of his uncaringly flippant remark, i never saw him again. I know the terrible condition of nausea and vomiting up almost everything you eat and to be unable to find the cause for close to a year, and so i truly hope you eventually find relief.

I re-read your story. So, did you have bullimia or anexoria or something, and then these pains started after you got over that? I wonder if you can damage your esophagus from throwing up too much? Maybe you damaged something and now it is not working as it should. Something to consider.

Wow. I feel for you. I had an eating issue a while back, and I never found out what it was, but it went away eventually. Have you gone to the doctor? You didn't say If you had a disorder or anything, so it is not clear. You could have a blockage in your esophagus or anything. And, if you haven't gone to a doctor, it could be something serious. I wish you all the best in finding out or finding out how to deal, with your issue.

I am 65 and have been trying to lose weight for years. I have finaly gotten close to where I want to be but as you say, eating the wrong things or too much makes me just throw up. I sometimes get so hungry I eat way too fast and pay the price. If I can plan small meals at given times during the day I seem to do better, and remember to eat slowly.

I have Celiac Disease and am horribly allergic to every form of dairy and a few other things and very sensitive to a host of others. I understand, more than you can imagine, but I have something on you: twice as many years suffering and finding my own ways to cope - especially with the mental/emotional/social aspects. If there was just one thing, one know-it-to-the-bone piece of knowledge I could give you, it is this: that it is perfectly okay, day to day, day after day, to be different, to stand apart, to be fundamentally alien and misunderstood by everyone. Learn it, accept it, integrate it - because, like it or not, you will not simply get over it, barring the invention of some miracle pill. If it helps, find it in yourself to be a little bit arrogant, to realize that you survive where others would not, and let your skin thicken a bit to others responses. Who are they to you anyway? How can they possibly understand? Your sufferings, your battles, add depth to your mind and character that most will never appreciate. You need not like the disease to enjoy its unintended benefits.

In amongst the other useful suggestions other contributors have made, like consulting your gastroenterologist and your counsellor for eating disorders - it sounds like you might also have intolerances to certain foods. Have you tried looking at Sherry Brescia's food programme 'Great taste no pain'? Some food combinations can irritate your stomach, so to counteract that it encourages you to eat in a certain way to avoid this pain.

Oh Machotaco... I hate that you have to deal with such a dreadful problem so young! You are right, there is no cure, but there are treatments that do help. And you should have medical help with your diet.. I am surprised your gastroenterologist has not, at least, given you a list of foods to eat and foods NOT to eat. Figuring that out by trial and error is not your only option. I do not know if you are covered by insurance but there are several medical procedures that can help, also medications. <br />
I know it isn't the cure you want, but it might make your day to day life a little easier. I know it is hard to be young and not be able to just relax and enjoy the "carefree" days of your life.<br />
<br />
You are a brave person with a real battle to fight and my heart goes out to you. And just know that nothing that happens to your body can ever hide the beautiful person you are.

i suggest a 12step programme overeaters anonymous you can find meetings in your area or close by... its a fellowship for all kinds of eating disorders and everyone there is the same there are no nurses doctors ,if you are desperate and want to change thats the only requirement..

Pls. do not skip meal, diet means eating with a portion,( 1 cup of rice, veggies and meat).you dont need to eat a lot just to become healthy. you should exercise, and try some outside activities like social gatherings and teambuilding :D it gives you more excited. take a vitamins.