Sick Of Being Sick

I have had gastric paresis for several years due to my Diabetes,  I would have episodes that lasted maybe a couple of days-maybe a week at the most. I am currently experiencing the worst one so far.  I have been in constant pain since December 28th.  I have been home sitting on the couch and unable to work.   They are going to try to inject Botox in to my stomach for the second time. They also came up with the new diagnosis of irritable bowel and my gallbladder tests are abnormal. Yeah - just what I needed.  I am a single mom and I am so worried about my 8 year old son.  He has anxiety and worries about me being sick.  Before I could work through the pain and do things with him.  Now it is too painful to walk across the room.  My doctor has talked about disability.  I just want to be normal again.  One day a food will stay down and the next time it won't.  I have started drinking the Glucerna shakes, I am worried about not getting the proper nutrition.  I need to be here for my son - I won't give up! It is extremely difficult some days.  I sometimes feel like nobody believes me, It can't be that bad?  Today has been difficult-the pain has been awful and I feel very sad and depressed.  I have felt tearful all day, although I can't cry in front of my son.  My faith, my family and my son keep me going.  I will survive this!

Auntietata66 Auntietata66
41-45, F
2 Responses Feb 18, 2010

I challenge anyone who says, "It can't be that bad" to walk a mile (or eat a meal) in your shoes!<br />
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The people in my life would refuse to give up the foods I can no longer eat, so I'd really like to see how they deal with the nausea, pain, and severe fatigue. I'm beginning to believe that the people who live with gastroparesis are some of the most courageous people in the world!<br />
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The doctors sometimes don't believe us because there's not much education for them on gastroparesis. My family doc was sure I couldn't possibly have it because I wasn't vomiting. My GI doc says he's never seen a case not caused by severe, uncontrolled diabetes or by long term narcotics use. Doctors are taught to understand medicine based upon large populations. Most doctors haven't seen a case of gastroparesis, and even the GI docs haven't seen many. Doctors think poorly of (especially women) "who want to see themselves as different or special." Well, I don't want to, but this diagnosis puts me in a very small % of the population. To treat me, they have to stop thinking about the other 95+% of the population.<br />
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But anxiety does make it worse, so try to do whatever you can to allow yourself some peace and rest.<br />
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The Glucerna is a lot more balanced nutrition than I was getting before. Since starting the Glucerna, I have more energy and my hair isn't falling out anymore. I find that I do best if I dilute it (50/50 with water). That way I can have about 100 cals every 2 hours. Keeping my blood sugar really stable seems to help the GP lessen, too.<br />
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I hope you're feeling lots better and that you've found what will work for you.<br />
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LiveNew

that is sad. Hang in there.