My Friend Just Told Me He Is Gay

it is a sad sad time when you lose somebody close to you..me personaly in my lifetime I have lost almost 30 people..friends family..it is true he will live on in you.it is hard sometimes when your friend tells you he has feelings for you and you dont feel the same way about them...the truth is always the best and you need to tell them so..also let them know nothing will ever change between you two....sorry for the loss of your friend!!

R the two of you still friends I guess know its ok

You know you can help who you fall for, sometimes it's out of your control, he seems very sincere and it probably took lots of guts to admit something like that to you, I have had an experience like that as a teen, I wrote my true story on that experience, I consider myself straight or bi-sexual now but I had a crush like that on my best friend when I was 16 years old except I got lucky and I guess he liked me too, he going to need your support now, protect him from the others because people can be cruel and just make him understand that your friendship means too much for you to blow it on a intimate relationship, he's going to need your friendship more then ever now, good luck and hope things work out for the best.

WOW if only I had friends like you growing up!

Sometimes, we end up attracted to the people we know will never be interested, and that sucks enough by itself. Everyone has this experience. As a gay guy, I've been where your friend has been, and it's not fun at all. You meet someone you connect with, you share secrets, become close, and realize "Damn, this is the perfect friendship for me.. but I want more." It's so much harder with long time friends, because there's a lot of history that can be ruined by a badly timed confession, or by a negative answer to it. I'm sure you feel like it's pretty dramatic that you're in that situation, but... just imagine how he feels. My advice for you, that I wish someone had given the straight best friend I fell for... Be compassionate, and put yourself into his shoes before you react to things that make you uncomfortable. If he tells you something you don't want to hear, for example about his sex life.. Think, "Do I tell him details about my sex life? Does he react badly?". Sometimes the nicest thing you can do for a friend in his situation, is be there in all the ways you can, and talk to them like you would anybody else if they were straight. My friend never learned that lesson, in a lot of ways, and our friendship will never be the same. You sound like you reacted nicely at first, and you want to remain close, so I hope my advice is helpful somehow. Good luck :).

You've really gone about this greatly. Not many people in your shoes would've handled as well as you did. I'm sure since you were honest with him and told him the feelings weren't mutual that he will move on and understand. Again it is great though that you aren't going to let that affect your friendship.

It sucks to be caught between a rock and a hard place. I am intrigued with the fact that you've known each other and been best friends since the 6th grade to age 21 and yet you never looked deeper into his lack of interest in relationships? Either way it goes, he is still the same person and the bonds that made your friendship possible run deep. Don't distance yourself or cut him off. I do advise acting as you always have but be cognizant and encourage him to broaden his social sphere. As long as you emphasize that you love him but will never be in love with him, you want the best for him and will always be his friend,you both will appreciate your friendship even more. Eventually, whoever your friend settles with will have to fight tooth and nail to claim that special place you currently occupy in your friend's heart. good luck to you both

all I can say is that you're an amazing friend.....

Just support him bc it will be a difficult time for him, and u just xplain that ur feeling for him only for best friend and brother, I think he will understand maybe u r the only male that closest 2 him, it sure somehow will grew a feeling (same between M and F bestfriend :)) , maybe one day if he meet some other gay guy this feeling toward u will change, I am bi and as far as possible I avoided sexual feeling with my straight friends

Hi Life! You seem like a nice & understanding person for your friend. Just accept him for who he is & I hope nobody ever does anything bad to him. Be there for him. Please take care.

Sounds like a turning point of a movie!.. I'm straight too and i have gay friends on internet and i know how it must be feeling to u... all u can do is make him feel everything is normal and and nothing has changed between both of u.. also explain him that its wrong for him to have feelings for u coz it'd lead to nowhere since u're straight... not directly of course.. in a polite and indirect manner so u don't break his heart..

Your friend now needs you more than ever. He's exposed a sensitive part of his soul to you, and any rejection would be devastating. Be sure he knows your friendship remains unchanged. Yes, you can even give him a hug. Men do that.



As for the cousin, Supernaturalfan has a good suggestion, though Grakka's "kick in the balls" has merit.

Tell everybody your cousin made it all up. Simple solution. Then they will think he is just a liar and then... he will be the one to lose. I hate homophobic people like your cousin and think this world would be better if all homophobes just fell over dead.

I agree with aboygirl



and your cousin deserves a kick in the balls

Hi. Well first of all it took him a lot of guts to tell you all this, trust me it wasn't easy for him to do. It is good you were honest about how you feel and it says a lot that you are still wanting to remain friends with him. Now is the time I am sure he needs your friendship the most since you say you share the same circle of friends. There are youth support groups out there you can google online for friends of gay youth. It might help you to deal with the wide range of emotions you might be going through as well as help him. I know you said you are straight. You sound like you are very loyal and have strong character. That really says a lot. Wishing you the best to you and your friend. :)