Its Not That Great

I have gay parents.
I spend most of my time at my best friends house. I hang out with her Dad cuz I never had one and he is this awesome guy. My friends Dad is a lot like Charlie from Twilight! I cried when I read about Bellas father in the books and in all his scenes in the movies. Mostly at my friends house it feels like I can just be myself. Someone has to say it cuz  I dont hear it but gay parents are selfish in a way. They dont think what its going to be like for me to live in their world.

Am I the only one who feels this way? Am I a bad daughter because I wish I had a Dad? Is there anyone else who has 2 Moms or 2 Dads who wonders what it would be  like if they were born into a normal family? Is ther anyone else who wants to be able to use the word normal without gettin a lecture on what is normal???

I dont know my real father and never will. Its weird but I miss him. I miss this man I will never know. Is it wrong for me to long for a father like my friends have? She has two brothers I play basketball with all the time. It feels so amazing to be included in their family. When I am there I think this is what its like to be in a family that has a Mom and a Dad. Then I have have to go home to my own world. I just dont fit in it anymore.

I really have 3 gay Moms, since a woman named Sally was my Mom until I was 6 years old then she left. My Moms partner after Sally is my other Mom since I was 7. But I haven't seen Sally (after she left we called her Sally not Mom) since then and I think about her a lot. My Mom was done with her and that was that.

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3 Responses Sep 15, 2012

Hi. I am not the child of gay parents but I am a bisexual female currently in a lesbian relationship. I am going to tell you that someday I want children. But I please ask that you read the rest of this because it is not written to slander your opinion.

Like I said, I want kids someday. Things like this are honestly disheartening to read because the reason I want kids is to love them and to raise them to be who they are, to be happy. The child I would raise would be loved by me and my partner. I would be proud of their proudest moments not because "I am a good gay mom" but because I value their accomplishments and I love them for their faults.

Something I wish I could do is make sure that every child is raised in a happy home with everything that they need at their disposal. Someday I want to do that for my own. However, I know in my heart that I don't want a child if for that child being in my life is not what is best for them. That is why I am looking at this site and others. I am looking for the truth from the perspective of children with gay parents to help me understand if the life I give a child someday is the best one for them.

I hope my comment here means something to you. I hope I am getting across the point that there are people out there, who are gay and who are looking to be parents someday who are looking for their potential child's perspective. I understand your feelings of missing a father figure and that you wonder what your life would be like if you had had one. I also hope you take away from my comment that some if not most parents try their hardest to look out for the best interests of their children. They make mistakes as I know because both my father and my mother have made mistakes trying to look out for mine. People like me with straight parents also wonder what their childhood would have been like with and without certain aspects of their upbringing influencing their life.
I also would like you to know that what you say has had an impact on me and that I will be one who will take this into consideration before making the decision to raise a child with two mothers.

Do all kids of gay families secretly feel like this? I ask because I know a Youtube channel called Depfox about a married gay couple who are raising two adopted kids. One of the dads, Daddy Jay is entirely aggressive/obsessive and confrontational about his approach to gay politics. Repeatedly he has used his children to promote gay marriage, in short videos, in selling children's books about gay families, even sometimes to respond to a celebrity/political-head. He's put his children in front of a video camera, and ask them "Do you hate having two dads? Do you wish you had a dad and a mom?". In addition, the dads have had their six-year-old daughter singing in a music video (they created) called "I have two fathers", and in it they use her to promote gay marriage, and to promote that they could be just as good as being moms too.

I would have never suspected the children weren't being the least bit earnest, until one of the dads made a video about the same daughter (who sang that her dads were just as good as having a mom), actually was asking to meet her biological mom (HENCE: not her dad)... They did their best to skim over it, and act as if she's only asking this because she's adopted, but if it was just about being adopted, why hadn't she asked about both her biological father AND mother?

Then I wondered how much is what these kids saying for their parents causes, and how much of it is actually true.

I've seen kids in pride parades wrapped in rainbows, and shirts that say "I love my two moms/dads", usually when they're interviewed on national television, they smile and say their family is extremely happy and loving. As a kid with a mom and a dad, I know that my family was not perfect and I definitely did not think my family was perfect! So that was another red flag for me.

So basically, is this how a lot of kids of gay parents feel?

I think two gay people who want kids should have a member of the opposite sex around as a family friend or something, so the kid can have atleast one father and one mother figure

woow hard words, but i understand it.
Anyway, i wish i was you. I'm 18 and i live with my brother and my dad. My mom died when i was 2, so i've grown up with those 2. we love each other, but i've never felt what is to have a mom.
i grew up playing with my brother toys and wearing his old clothes. in my family we don't hug each other, that's just weird. My dad loves me, but he is not the emotional tipe. calculating...he kisses me once a year or so.
we dont cry, because thats for "fragil people". we dont talk about our feelings or anything...
i dont know, i wish i had my mom, you know? someone who listens to you if you have a problem, and they don't think it's stupid.
someone i can talk about my friends, my school and the boys.
i have to be this rock, hard and clever, not emotional, and just sucks. you don't know what you have, trust me.
dont misunderstand me, i love my family and i would do anything for them, but i wish they showed some emocion, some love.

I have 2 moms too! I'm in the 13-15 age range. I know what your saying but I love my parents just sometimes I get scared about people finding out and making fun of me