Overwhelmed And Unsure

Hello, i am not positive if i actually have GAD but after feeling like i have for the last few months i believe that i do. i have finally today reached out for help and hopefully soon i will be seeing a therapist to help me sort out my mind i guess. Its a weird kind of excitement that i am carrying at the moment. I am excited for the possibility to be able to relax...a good clean healthy relax and not have all these racing thoughts bouncing through my head.

I believe it started a while ago since i was younger i wouldnt want to stand in front of the class and such but recently i find it impossible to sit down and enjoy watching a movie or anything without worrying that something bads going to happen. but within the last few months alot of things have happened, i got engaged to an amazing man, but we moved into her mothers basement for the time being, the whole upstairs is a mess, she is a horder...i am a clean freak, i lost my job due to fracturing my elbow, got another job and lost that and ended up in the hospital with dvt or deep vein thrombosis which is a blood clot, i almost ended up dying from it, i havent been able to exercise because of the pills and my eating patterns all out of whack because of it as well, so that made me gain a total so far of 30lbs...and the list goes on...and its been alot to deal with. that was all within the last year.

 then if i think of something too much i start to physically feel it, i start to shake and tremble or i feel like i cant controll my breathing...its quite horrible and i am finally going to seek help. i never did before because i guess i was ashamed. i was afraid of what my fiance would think, how my family and friends would react...so i kept it all in, but now i am realizing that it was stupid of me to think that way. they all love me for who i am. no matter what is "wrong" with me, i know deep in my heart that they will be there for me. but everyday is still a battle within myself. so i am on here for people to help me and give me advice to help me manage and cope. it would be greatly appreciated. i know when i feel myself starting to get anxious i try distracting myself, i try to tell myself positive thoughts and remind myself how awesome everything really is. but not all the times does that work.
chenadoll19 chenadoll19
22-25
1 Response May 15, 2012

just got on here today myself. I need a place to vent my issues with GAD. One of the hardest things to move forward with is without a doubt is distracting your brain. People don't realize how much GAD can make you focus on the tiniest thing and just obsess over it over and over. Night before last I spent 30 minutes on a computer at work just make sure I had not messed something up on it. I have gotten better about things like that though on most days. I have had to re-teach my brain that the world will go on. I will make mistakes, but I will learn from them. My GAD is more focused around my work than anything. There was a time that it did effect me outside of work, but that has gotten better. A large part of that was having to build back up my self-confidence,which by no means is an easy task. I am not 100%, but I am 75% better than I was. I had to teach my brain that I was not the cause of other peoples problems and do my job to the best of my ability and move on to the next task at hand. ( I'm not going to lie, this is not easy at first, but you just have to push through with family and friends support) I have to make good decisions and walk away from them. Whatever happens I can do this.