My Three Sons

MY FIRST
My first birth was 9 years ago. I was 18. I had him with a Midwife, in a "Birthing Center." It was quite a traumatic experience, because I was young and didn't know what to expect, and because the environment I gave birth in was uncomfortable. I didn't know I was in labor until my water broke, and by then, I was thrown instantly into transition. My contractions weren't even a minute apart. I was immediately out of control and scared. The nurses at the birth center were rude and difficult. My mother told me I was "doing it wrong." I wanted natural birth, with no drugs, but I couldn't handle it. I begged for an epidural, but instead they gave me a narcotic. The narcotic did not help me relax. It caused me to vomit, which made my contractions even more intolerable. When I did get the epidural, I couldn't feel to push him, but it worked out anyways. They laid his tiny, soft, moist body on my chest and I could feel his wet head on my cheek and he was crying. It was so sureal and so wonderful and it felt like the entire world disappeared and it was just me and him.

MACHINES
Because of my experience with my first born, it was my intention to have a home birth, but we didn't have the money to hire a midwife. My husband went to prison two days before he was born, so I labored with my mother and my mother in law at the same birthing center I went to with my first child. I had a chest cold, and coughed a lot, but felt good otherwise. I was induced this time. No reason really. Just...because. They started me on pitocin. It produced the most powerful horrible contractions that were quite far apart. I did much better this time though. I was able to keep myself under control, breathing through the contractions, and bouncing on a birth ball. The nurse came in and told me my contractions weren't very strong (according to the inaccurate machine next to me) and that the baby wouldn't be there for a while. Then, the midwife came in and broke my water. When she did so, she accidentally scratched my baby's head with the tool. The pain caused him to produce meconium. Fortunately, it wasn't very thick. I decided to get the epidural because I was having a difficult time tolerating the contractions. The epidural was not in my plans, but it was offered to me and so I took it. They put it in wrong. It was dripping up instead of down. I was not numb in my lower parts and I could barely breathe because it was numbing my diaphragm.After this, their faulty machine wasn't picking up the baby's heart beat or my contractions, so they shoved another sharp object into my son's head in order to read his heart beat. Not long after that, I pushed all 8 pounds 11 ounces of him out in no time. I didn't tear. He was a fat little one, and nursed like a pro!

MY HOME BIRTH, MY BEST BIRTH
After the first two, I decided to seek better ways of giving birth. I met some women who had home births with midwives and some who had home births unassisted. Since I didn't want an audience, and wasn't willing to pay someone to watch me give birth, I chose to have my third child at home with no midwife or doctors. Just me, my husband, my niece, and my 7 and 4 year old. I bought a birth kit online. I spent my entire labor in the comfort of my own home. I was not hooked up to a messed up machine. I needed no IV. I ate when I was hungry, drank when I was thirsty. I did not vomit. I was not scared. I felt loved and cared for. No one told me to be quiet. I had control, no one else. Here is the story of my best birth;

On January 6th, 2009 at about 9:30 a.m. I went to visit my favorite coffee shop, as always. When I sat down, I noticed what I thought was just another Braxton Hicks contraction. Less than twenty minutes later, I felt another one. It was pretty painful, so I thought I'd try to time the next one. I got out a peice of paper and sipped at my tea. The woman sitting next to me was startled at my facial expression through the following contraction and she started helping me time them. They were exactly 13 minutes apart. I figured that was kind of far apart to be labor, so I just continued to time them and called my hubby to let him know how I was feeling. The contractions were so painful that I really hoped that he might offer to come home early to help me through them, but he couldn't read my mind so he stayed gone. I stayed at the coffee shop for a few hours and then headed home to clean up and make dinner. Just after dinner, the contractions were intense enough to make me stop in my tracks. I decided to have my hubby go pick up our neice who was interested in helping me through labor and witnessing the birth. I put my boys to bed and let them know that the baby would be here by morning. They were very excited. It was getting late, and my contractions continued to be ten or more minutes apart, so I worried that I had gotten my neice too soon. I told her I would take her to school in the morning if I was mistaken about this being true labor. I hadn't gotten to the bedroom floors yet, and it was my very last chore to be done for the house to be completely livable. So I asked my neice if she might help me scrub the bedroom floor to pass the time. After were through, both of us were tuckered out so we retired to bed. It was just after midnight and Shawn (my hubby) and I were talking. The baby was moving around like crazy! I told Shawn that he was moving so much he was going to break the water bag. Sure enough, seconds after I said that, I felt a trickle of water gush out. I was so excited! It really was time! After the water broke, my contractions became intolerable. Fortunately, I was at home in my comfort zone, with my family with me to make me comfortable. It was so nice to have Shawn wrapping his arms around me to and talking softly in my ear. He and my neice, Sammy, were wonderful supports. My labor was strong all night long. I went from room to room, from the shower to the bed, to the living room. Sammy took the shower head off of the wall and ran it over my back. It felt so wonderful. My transition began around 4 in the morning. I kept having to pee over and over again. When I peed it came out with force and there was a ton of it! I couldn't figure out how I could produce so much because I don't think I drank that much. At about five in the morning, I got really really hungry. I asked for a bowl of cereal. As hungry as I felt, I could not eat it. Later in the morning, about ten thirty, I started to wonder if it had been too long since my water broke, so I decided to go to the midwife's office to have her check my cervix and to listen to the baby's heart beat since I forgot to get the listening device. The cold air outdoors felt so good! The midwife was unaware of my plans on having a home birth. When I told her I wasn't sticking around, she was concerned. She told me I was 8 centimeters and that if I wanted to have the baby at home I'd better leave right away. By the time we got back home, I felt the need to regain my concentration. I set up a bunch of blankets against a chair and hovered over it. At this point, I needed to harbor what energy I had left. My contractions took all of my breath away. I couldn't scream, I couldn't cry, I could only pant and shake my head side to side. I needed complete quiet, and for no one to touch me. Even the gentlest touch made my nerves scream. By then, my mother in law showed up to get my neice. She was very worried about me having the baby at home with no doctors, and her attitude angered me and irritated me. I wanted her to leave. She had the nerve to light a cigarette in my home! I didn't want my baby's first breath to be cigarette smoke! I told her to go outside. I love her and all, but that was just thoughtless. I finally just had to tune her out and make the best of it. I felt the baby's head in the birth canal. He was ready to crown. I couldn't push with my contractions although I did have the pressure to. I couldn't push because it was too painful, so instead I concentrated on relaxing through them and with each one, felt his little head come down all by itself. My body pushed him out without my assistance, I thought it was so neat. Finally, when his head was crowning and I felt the burning sensation, I had to use the contractions and push with all my might against the pain. I screamed so loudly that I scared my four year old out of the room. My neice told me I sounded like and opera singer! I finally pushed his head out, I pushed so hard and his little head popped out with force. I needed a break, but the rest of his body was still inside me and Shawn was eager to get him out. He encouraged me to get angry and push the rest of him out, and as I pushed he gently pulled on his shoulders and out he came at 3: 33 p.m. on Wednesday, January 7th, 2009. His cord was long and healthy, still pulsating. I pulled him up to my chest and he peed on me, lol. When the cord stopped pulsing, Shawn clamped it and Joshua, my 7 year old cut it. He was so proud of himself! A few minutes later, I decided to nurse him to help the placenta come out. He nursed like a pro! When he was done, Shawn took him and held him while I stood and delivered a healthy placenta. Then the baby and I went into the bathtub and washed up. Then we went to bed and slept while Shawn cleaned up the mess in the living room. When he was done cleaning, we all cuddled up in bed and napped. Then a good friend came over with pizza, oh I was starving! I ate almost an entire pizza by myself!
So, that is my birth story. It was the most wonderful birth I've had!



alleybow alleybow
26-30, F
3 Responses Jul 22, 2010

Beautiful!

Birth isn't gross.

Awesome! To each his own!!!! Glad the home birth went well for you and your new little one...Congrats!!!