First Minute As a Mommy

I was 20 years old, and had been pregnant for 8 and a half months. I had learned the reality of morning sickness; in fact, it was the morning sickness that brought me to the doctor. I had thought I was dealing with the flu. The doctor had me do a urine sample, took some blood and a throat culture. He came back to the room about 10 minutes later. Congratulations! You're pregnant, and you have a bad cold..

Wow! I had only been married two months when I learned I was pregnant, so that meant it was the Honeymoon.. yay.

But here it was! The day I'd waited for. It hurt. I did not realize the hurt, until it happened to me. I'd had menstrual cramps pretty badly before, and figured early on in my first trimester that it could not possibly be much worse than that! Ah, denial is a wonderful coping mechanism!   Thirty-four hours into my labor, I pushed my last push. I was good not to use bad language, but I did yell a time or two. As my son, my first child, entered the world, I tore and I cried.

He emerged with a muffled cry and then he cried a full-blown yell. I got a chill, like a spirit moved over me. I rushed with emotion.. he was my baby.. here he was. I looked at him.. He'd had a puffy little face from squeezing down my birth canal. He had a bruise on his forehead from hitting my cervix early on, before I was well-dilated. He was red and tiny.

They cleaned and swaddled him and handed him to me. His eyes were shut and he was trying to peek them open; much like someone who has entered a bright area from a dark one, he was trying to adjust his focus.

He had his little fingers poked out, all ten of them. I unwrapped the swaddling to look at him, but only briefly for fear of him getting a chill.  they moved us up to the room, and then he was taken to the nursery for his full workup. He was perfect.

When they brought him back to me, I was sitting up in bed.  They handed him to me and it was final - I was in love.

I am adopted. This person was my first blood relative. He was my first child. I looked at him all over in disbelief that something, someone so wonderful could be mine. How could I be entrusted to something so precious and priceless.

I set pillows up on either side of me and laid the hospital bed back to semi-reclined.  I lay him on my chest with his head turned. I heard his tiny breaths.. like a tiny little ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh... it relaxed me like nothing I'd ever felt. I never knew a love like this.

I loved him when he was in my womb. I loved him when he kicked me, and loved him while I birthed him. But on the entry into my life, I love him best. He is 21 years old now. I have three other children, and alas, lost one. Each birth was different; as different as each of my beloved children. One son and three daughters.

I tell him this story and he blushes.. "mom.. c'mon".. he knows...

lemleythelioness lemleythelioness
41-45, F
30 Responses Jul 5, 2009

I don't get much time to, but occasionally i'll press EP and read a story or two.

I love being here. It is full of real. It gives people the chance to reflect and think about their experience and write it. I find really thinking can be an amazing thing.

Thank-you.

Beautiful story. Beautifully told. Touched my heart and reminded me of the tender moments when my own children were born. They are adults now. Thank you. Take care.

Nice story "lemleythelioness", like you my wife also fell pregnant during our honeymoon as our son was born 9 months and 3 days after we got married. Its good that you remember the birth as if it was yesterday.

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This is so beautiful brought tears to my eyes.. The feeling of unconditional love.
thanks for sharing.
blessings x

: ) sweet

Wonderful, altho I am a father, and was at the births of my two surviving children,that experience mimics yours,so congratulations!

Is good story

I enjoyed your story and it helped me relive my own. My first came when I was 20 and I have 3 more beutiful more each holding my heart and making me a better person everyday. Doesn't matter how old they get they are always your baby. Thanks for sharing this love.

I really like your story. Thanks for sharing it though I am not still mother, I am single and looking for my future husband... let say I am waiting for the man destined in my life. I was able to cried because of over-joyed and it says that "being a mother is really perfect having her child/children" is a good thing can happen in motherhood. Now, I am imagining the feeling of being a mother, from morning sickness to carrying a baby into a womb but then it's priceless when you see your baby finally. It seems God was committed to us He will give His reward for giving a new life in this world.

What a great story, and sorry for the loss. Thanks so much for sharing.

truly beautiful story

I loved your story! I'm 37 and my husband and I are trying for our first baby. I am so exited and yearn to have a child of my own.
Be blessed!

You responded on my birthday!

And you be blessed as well!

This is wonderful!

You responded on my birthday last year!

My son is adopted. I couldn't be closer to him if I had of given birth to him. Motherhood is the greatest! Glad you got the experience. My heart beongs to my son also.

I never experienced affection, not even a hug, I was someone else's problem whom others had to deal with, as a result I was nothing more than another chore for those who worked in such environments, which is understandable.

Your story made me cry. I'm 65, I've always been alone and I often wonder why I was never wanted. Maybe I never felt a part of anything, and as a result, I simply didn't try to belong.

I suppose my childhood circumstances made me feel I didn't belong, after all, there was a stigma associated with people who had no one.

I have always stopped and observed families in parks getting together and enjoying each others company and wondered what it would be like to be a part of something like that.

Life saw any friendships I made either move away or die, or equally, I had to move on for one reason or another, in the end, I got used to my solitary life with fleeting moments of belonging.

Your story was wonderful to read, you have no idea how it made me wish I'd been loved by at least someone, but alas, that's life for some of us I guess.

I'm pleased your life went so well after a starting off alone before being adopted.

I remained in an orphanage for 16 years until I was released with a few dollars and a room in a boarding house, after that, it was up to me to survive.

I did well, I worked hard in low paying jobs, I had no education, so I didn't have a great deal of choice, but I saved and saved and eventually purchased a dairy farm.

This did not help my socializing as it kept me busy 7 days a week all year, but I managed to retire early and have been relaxing ever since.

Life could have been worse, but it never had anything like the joy in your story..

I wish I would have been your mom. Adopted or not, I would have loved you. Children come in many different packages. I think they all have amazing bows and contents. No one should grow up unloved. Before my husband died we were in the process of adopting a little girl to join our son in our family. It all fell apart when he died and I became a single, widowed mom, but if someone dropped a little girl on my doorstep today, I\'d take her in and love her as long as I\'m on this earth.
I\'d love to talk to you. I bet you\'re amazing.

I\'m so sorry you lost the one you loved.

I have lost friends and associates, through death or simply by the fact either they or I moved on, but to lose someone so close, must have been devastating for you. It seems life is determined to leave us as we began. They say these things are sent to test us, but why do only some of us appear to be tested when so many appear to sail through life with ease? I guess all we can do is make the best of what we have and hope we to lose as little of that as possible. I don\'t know how to communicate with you other than in public like this, but f there is a way, and you know it, I\'d be happy to chat with you, as you have indicated a desire to do so.

What I\'ve learned from my losses is that we have no guareetees in life. We come here, we live for a bit and we leave when our time is up. All I can do is have no regrets for things not done, love not given and time not used.
We\'re all tested in different ways. Mine is my weight. I\'ve larned to be the best I can be and nothing has stopped me. I\'ve lived a dozen lives, seen amazing things and learned, learned, learned. I\'m a wonderful lady with a big heart. But that doesn\'t mean I haven\'t been stepped on and crushed by the very attibutes that make me who I am. HOW we handle the beatings is what sets us all apart. Some spend their entire life reliving over and over what happened to them years in their past. Others look at past situations and know that the idiots or crazies that hurt them were just that NOT NORMAL, KIND HEARTED, ADULTS, but people who could not be trusted. The people who understand this truth decide to live to the best of their abilities. It\'s all a personal choice. I would love to chat with you. Not sure how safe that is.

I am so sad for you that you felt so unwanted and unloved for so many years. I can tell you that I am an adoptee. I was taken from my birth mother at 4 days old because she couldn't afford to care for me and my brothers and sister. I still don't know her, but long to. I was adopted at 10 months old, my parents divorced when I was 4, my adoptive mom died when I was 16, and I have been on my own since I was 17. I used my alone time to make myself strong an independent. I am not the best at some things, having to learn them on my own, but I take pride in my successes. I think you should try to focus not so much on what you went through, but the fact that you made it through it, you know? Best of love and blessings! I do care! <3 ~ Lori

Thank you Lori! I do. I live for the moment and have an amazing life. I have a a 13 year old son that is my joy and I just keep moving forward. The past is past. all of my history has made me a better person. i'm greatful for that. Have a blessed life!!

2 More Responses

That is an amazing story. Thanx for telling it.

This is so sweet! I've only got one right now, she's 2, and I love her more than words can describe :)

wow, I really felt so happiness and inner me you can't imagine how cool i feel in my heart, feel best love, it's something that couldn't be understood by any one who didn't test the world of parents, it's a feeling that no one can conclude with a words not even thousands of attestations, I hope you all are feeling the same and I wish you and your beloved children with bright full future and an endless loving and caring to each other. Our mothers are the best persons we have ever had in our lives, and for sure we can't give them back any compensation because there is nothing like a mother!!!! long life and happiness for all beloved mothers!!!!!!!!!

An amazing and beautiful story which is very well-written.

what a fantastic story ! i love happy endings . keep the story alive .
have a great evening !

Your children are so lucky to have a mother that loves them this much. I loved this story, such detail & so well written. I do not have children yet, but I truly hope that when the time comes I have a powerful experience like yours.

Oh, thats a lovely story to share. Thank you :-)

That is a lovely story

I can wait to have my is a wonderful experience.

That wad so beautiful!!! I'm so sorry for your loss (even though it was a while back) I'm just wondering, what gender was it and did it die during birth or some other time? Like I said, I am just wondering and I completely understand if you don't feel like talking about it. :)

That was absolutely beautiful. You're way with words is amazing. I just gave birth last month and you brought back every emotion I felt during that time. Thank you. Any mother can appreciate this heartfelt post.

Thank you so much for sharing such a magical moment. I haven't experienced baby delivery yet even though I am in my late 20-s. I always think how it will be one day. How it will happen finally. Thank you for giving birth to wonderful people and your love that won't end ever.

My daughter, who is 23 next month, just had my first granddaughter. I am overwhelmed with joy!

wow... no one has ever explained the feeling of emotions that come when u give birth. but now i guess i finally understand. amazing story!