Realized It Will Never Happen
I officially have given up on ever finding someone. Quit my internet dating subscription that I have had on and off for the past three years. All it has garnered me is being stood up six times in a row and not one real date, I only garner interest from men who are way too old for me (my fathers age..../shudder) or have nothing in common with, total silence from men I contact, and an internet stalker (wonderful /rolls eyes). I have no intention of staying where I live now and will not be able to move for another year and half at the earliest. Which will make me going on 38 and I don't see any man wanting to have a whole lot in interest in staring a family with someone that old. I will never be happy with just being the stepmother of someone elses kids. It's not the same. No matter how much you may grow to love them, they are not your kids in the end and you have zero say.
My grandmother liked to say there are plenty of fish in the sea, but that is not true at all. I figure the sooner I accept I will never have a family the better.