I Don't Know From What It Comes

I have strenght in the sense I always go on. I don't really know on what it's based, because I don't find support in others, not my family, not my partner. I don't believe the makind is so good, I think we may go through rough times very soon, and may lose our Earth. I don't consider myself as achieved. I don't really believe in anything, though not really closed either. Maybe it's because I think first, it gives me the time to settle down when I feel something. I don't have a precise idea where it comes from.


August, 27 2008: Great strenght doesn't mean unlimited strenght. I miss not knowing my roots. I think I pass after money for lots of people. I wanted to believe life was priceless. It's so untrue. If I have to work 11 hours a job I don't like and spend 3 or 4 hours in transport, I want to know why. It seems my needs, not even what I want, my needs, pass after the rest. It'll be my birthday soon, and I hate that idea more than anything. To me there's nothing to celebrate. There's not joy in life. I've taken years of this life with only pain, and no resources back; now I can't. If I had the opportunity to leave everything, I would.

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Feb 1, 2008