Not All Of Them, But Many...

I suppose it's the natural progression of things in get older and the things you once had in common with people start to decrease. People move, people pursue other interests, people have different experiences, and it changes them. In my case, I've changed a lot but many of the people I shared my adolescence with still seem the same. I cringe at saying this honestly, because it makes me sound like one of those, "hmmph, I'm more mature than everyone," people. I'm truly not. That being said, I find myself increasingly uncomfortable at the occasional "reunion" gatherings with some of my high school friends now that we're all getting closer to turning 30.

I just find myself so unable to relate to so many of them these days. To me, in order for a friendship to be sustained there has to be more going for it than the fact that we *used to be* closer years and years ago. We're all pushing 30 now, and it shows more each time I see them. There's usually an annual gathering in our hometown. I found myself feeling disgusted and annoyed after the last one because it felt like a big competition to compare husbands, wedding plans, kids, accomplishments, etc.

Another thing is social networking. I am "friends" with most of them on Facebook, but we don't really, truly communicate. It's kind of a lazy way to keep people on your social radar without putting in any real effort towards a true friendship. It's sometimes tempting to delete all but maybe a half dozen of the people I graduated high school with, the ones who if I saw them I'd be really enthused and happy and we'd still have things to relate about. I could, but then I'd be remembered as the jerk who deleted everyone on Facebook. Still, it's tempting. I've "hidden" a lot of them from my news feed because every update is, "Oh-Em-GEE, Bratleigh just took her first POOP in the potty!" and stuff like that. I suppose that's the next best thing from deleting, especially since FB doesn't have a dislike button.
somegirl12345678 somegirl12345678
2 Responses Jul 14, 2010

But why should you worry about fitting in? The way I see it, I can make friends that I have more in common with instead of hoping that one day I'll be like those old friends so we can relate again.

Lol.....I can so relate, I am a decade or so older, but I feel I have nothing in common. I do have kids like many of my high school friends, but am not one to brag about every single thing they do and post 5000 pics of them. Sometimes I even feel like a loser because it seems everyone is going on vacation or has a great job or a great partner, etc etc etc.........and I feel like Elaine in Seinfeld, saying you know I had this really good piece of fish lol......maybe I'll fit in one day