Here Goes Nothing

When ever I stop to think about my 'childhood' it takes all my strength to stop myself from breaking down complete. Now I'm not say my childhood was the worse in the world and I know that people have suffered a heck of a lot worse than I did, but I can't seem to cope with everything that happened, even stupid things like being force fed a egg which has resulted in an erational fear of eggs I know perfectic and an extremely unhealthy relationship with food. Or there's the fact I was raped by my step brother, sexual abused by the babysitter and there's the boyfriend who held me down until he came inside of me and I would later learn than I was pregnant at the time. Or watch my mother go through many abusive relationship and during one I witnessed her back being broke and i had to take on the carer role, oh then the one who though I was possessed and want to exorcise me. Plus the fact I was in and out of care because of my many issues, the only way I could cope with life was through self-harm and many suicide attempts. So that is the list of things i actually can remember from my childhood, but there so much of the first 16years of my life I can't remember.
Well to be honest this has made me feel like there a little less weight on my shoulder at least for tonight.
Damagedperfection Damagedperfection
May 20, 2012