My mother and father were never happy, I don't think.  They married in a Mormon temple; both were members of the church.  However, a few years after I was born, my father stopped coming to church.  He stopped reading his scriptures, and he stopped believing. 

Things changed after that.  Cold silence replaced any shouting; a child always knows when her parents are fighting, and I felt it constantly.

I would stumble to church behind my mother, seeing all the fathers clutching their daughters close.  I wanted Father to do that to me, to hold me and love me.  I wanted Mother to hold me, too; for anyone to simply touch me.

I am now 18 and I have not hugged my mother or my father once over the past 12 years.

defitablue defitablue
18-21, F
3 Responses May 20, 2007

I can't hug my parents, either.

I haven't hugged my mother for years and I don't want to. I didn't hug my father for years either because we had a very difficult relationship, we are now however closer than ever and I love a hug from my dad. I hope you too get a closer relationship with yours in time. *hugs*

Well I know it is different for me but I never hugged them since I was like five. You should tell them how you feel. maybe they will want to make you feel more loved.