MY Childhood

Life never does treat us the same, does it? Thats what you discover when u read other peoples' life stories.

I believe I was quite vibrant and energetic  as a child- always up to some sort of mischief- something new- Thats how my parents would put it. Very carefree- innocent- happy.

I loved to discover new things. I wrote stories- childish ones of course- I drew pictures- many of them imitations of Walt Disney characters!

I loved dancing, singing, playing with my dolls and stuffed animals.

My parents- to be more precise- my dad was very rigid in his religious beliefs and he made us- the kids- obey him. to be honest with you- no I guess it wasnt all about religion- about our grades- about our manners- about anything!!!

He didnt treat my mum well either- fights and fights and fights- the neighbors- the police- even us kids got involved!!!

but turning back to me - I usually refused to give in to his requests- demands rather. and he would be very ungentle- tough. He would batter me in the most unfriendly manner- gifting me with bruises, scars,....

I dont keep grudges  against him any more- Ive tried to forgive him- I am a mother now and I dont believe any mom or dad would want to bully their own children deliberately- as a big man once put it- parents turn their innocent children into frogs by kissing them- Well I was kissed not as gently as u would imagine!

I wasnt that bad really-no child is bad-

My mom and dad are Muslims- Islam has rules about hijab- women being covered! which I couldnt understand at the time-esp. because I was born in a city like Edinburgh in Scotland- I went to a Christian school- I wanted the merits of exposing myself- my beauties- I wanted to be noticed by the boys in my class- I wanted their attention. I didnt want to be mocked by the popular girls !!

very simple to understand- I think. I loved getting the attention I deserved to have. Not that I was very beautiful during my childhood but I had long brown hair. Why should I have had to hide it under a scarf. I hated it. I can clearly remember the first day of wearing that pink silky scarf. I was only 8. not even 9- thats the age Islam believes girls reach puberty and have to hide their body and hair from men.

My dad had bought me an expensive box of Cadbury chocolates to divide among my class mates and to explain why I  have all of a sudden decided to wear a scarf. I was happy at the thought of being special but after that first day- my class mates giving me looks out of disbelief, mockery- I came to understand that I dont even know why I'm wearing this thing myself- Damn it!!!

I can tear it into bits and pieces- set it on fire perhaps- GET RID OF IT!!!

but rules were rules. esp in my family! I was also sad at the fact that my sister- only one year younger than me didnt have to wear a scarf but I did.

so UNFAIR!!!!

so... it all started- I had the scarf on in front of him and then I took it off as soon as he was out of sight- my friends all new about it!! but I didnt care.

Then after a while he started following me!! when I went to school he was there, somewhere, behind the trees, the other side of the street, ... I dont know... but he was there to see what I'm up to, whether I have the scarf or not!!!

a Tom and Jerry series it was. Me running away from him- and him running after me!!

Well, every time he found out the same old punishments again, being hit with the phone cable, kicked, punched, slapped, battered. I used to think he was a torturer!!!

a nightmare really!

I hated him.

Well while I got all the bad treatment, my sister got the birthday parties, the gifts, encouragements, love, attention.

I used to be best friends with my sis but then we turned into enemies.

I lost my best friend- I got told off for fighting with her, even when it was actually all her fault.

Very Naturally- I decided to look for all this love and support my family was responsible to provide me with outside our home. amongst my friends, teachers, even strangers, animals???

I turned to them. I lived in my dreams, in an unreal world. I lived in fairy tales- I became Cinderella, Snow White, Grettel.

Well now, I'm a grown up- Ive got a good job, a lovely son. My parents dont treat me the way they used to anymore. They love their grand child!

They still fight with one another

I'm in good terms with my sisters!

They admit theyve mistaken about me at times. But when I'm fed up with life, I do sometimes blame them for growing up to be an adult so soon. I missed all the fun I deserved to have being a child, a teenager and a young girl.

Dont take ur kids childhood away from them for some stupid belief, let them grow up themselves. Let them experience- let them get hurt at times. Dont decide for them!!! They'll love u for letting them make mistakes!