We Were So Excited!! =)

At first I was so scared! I was in a long distance relationship with the guy that I am now married too, and I was 18, I had no job... and I was living with my grandma. But after I told my boyfriend we grew more excited than scared! I started thinking of names, he moved closer to me(actually he moved in with me) we started buying things for the baby and preparing for our little family. I felt more happy than I had in a while... and I grew more and more excited with every appointment! even though I had been getting dizzy a lot and i felt like I was overheating, and light headed, the doctor said it was normal... when I went in and had an ultrasound at 12 weeks and everything looked healthy and normal, just the way it should be, I felt like everything would be fine. Then a few weeks later as it grew closer to the time for my next appointment I felt like something was wrong, one night I had a horrible headache and I couldn't find any tylanol so I just went to bed. I woke up early the next morning and went to the bathroom and I was spotting really lightly, my next appointment was the day after so after talking to my grandma about it we decided that I would wait, it was sunday... on monday I went into my appointment and told my doctor what had been happening and she said "oh that is very normal, a lot of women have light spotting durring their pregnancies" but no matter how much she tried to make me feel better, I just knew deep down inside that something was wrong... and when she said "now lets see if we can find this baby" and tried to find the heartbeat I just knew she wouldn't find it.... it took a while and she finally sent me over to the hospital for an ultrasound to be sure... and it was confirmed; my baby's heart had stopped beating within a few days of the previous ultrasound, where everything had looked healthy, it really wasn't. I had had a missed miscarriage. My doctor said that it would lower the chances of this happening again if I let it happen naturally, so I tried, but a few nights later, when it still wasn't happening I just couldn't do it anymore (I coudn't stand the thought of my baby being dead inside me any longer, but there was a small part of me that didn't want to go in and have him/her taken out; that would really mean that he/she was gone) I went in a week later and had a D & C on the 15th of september, it was a good thing I went in too because the doctor who preformed the D & C said that I had an infection that had been contained but would have spread soon. They autopsied what they had of the baby but the results were inconclusive. My husband and I named the baby Alex (he likes that name) because we never knew if our first baby was a boy or a girl, and Alex could be for both. I was really depressed afterwards, but I know that my baby is in heaven and that makes it ok.
graceysnheaven graceysnheaven
1 Response Jul 20, 2010

I am so sorry to hear about your loss.<br />
My story is similar- I also had a missed miscarriage, I miscarried naturally and then with misoprostil. It hurts so badly to see babies and I really miss my little one. <br />
Take care of yourself. Things will get better one day.