They Always Happen In School...

I guess my first panic attack was in middle school. I was in 7th grade at the time. One of the science teachers posted a National Enquirer like article in front of his classroom. I knew it was fake, but the topic just sent me into the state of fear. I have thanatophobia (a fear of dying) and that's what the article was about, the end of the world. I kept trying to reassure myself, but I didn't succeed.  The rest of my 7th grade year was pretty much a panic attack. It wasn't really a problem until Freshman year. Again, my thanatophobia frequently threw me into panic attacks. We were watching a video in Global Studies and it was about the Mayans. Their calendar triggered my fear and I ran out the room crying. I spent the rest of that class in library. The day after that, we were gonna review the video, so I asked someone to tell the teacher I was uncomfortable about the topic and was gonna step out. Well, the next thing I know, a counselor comes down and forces me to go to her office. She rules my panic attack as a cry for attention. So now, every time I cry in school, it's a cry for attention and I get in trouble. Now, I don't like getting in trouble, so it sends me into a more violent panic attack. Panic attacks are never fun and I wish I didn't have them. It's even worse when people can't even understand why I have panic attacks. I hope some day that I'll never have a panic attack again.
rooroobear rooroobear
18-21, F
1 Response Jul 17, 2007

I'm really sorry to hear about how your teacher has treated you--and I can totally understand what you're feeling. Especially in my teens, and even now when I get unsettling news or information, my mind would just go into a spin of pure terror. There are topics that I don't like to talk/hear about that are entertainment fodder for other people, like anything that has to do with big disasters. News fasting is a great way to lessen that kind of anxiety, because most of the topics on the news are things you can't do much about, anyway. I'm not saying just become escapist and move to La-la land, but you can choose how much and what information you take in...<br />
Unfortunately, I don't really have any tips on how to deal with these feelings, but one good thing is that you are aware of what makes you anxious. On days when you feel more sensitive, try to stay away from people who cannot respect your feelings. Reading books that lift your spirit is also good, try Richard Bach or "The Alchemist" if you haven't read them before.