A True Love That Can Never Be

I have been married for 34 years out of this marriage are children one of which is not my husbands. No he does not know but has suspicions. I love my husband and would never want to hurt him with this or my children, therefore I must take this secret to my grave and so must my lover of many years. My lover of many years wanted to marry me long ago but I would not leave my husband now he is married and will not leave his wife and children but he is very much in love with me. We talk everyday and still turn each other on. My problem is that I know this is wrong because I am a God fearing woman and I do love the Lord. I have tried to stop conversations with him but he keeps calling me and making me want him more and more. He is the best person that I have ever made love with I get turned on just by thinking of him. on the other hand my husband and I a best friends and that is the extent of it. I love my husband and cannot picture my life without him. I keep praying that God will take the desire that I have for my lover away.
diamondpearl diamondpearl
51-55, F
1 Response Aug 15, 2007

I know exactly how you feel. Im sort of going through the same thing. I would love to stay away from the father of my child and focus on my husband ONLY, but everytime I see him, we just go crazy. I adore my husband and feel bad about doing what Im doing. How are you handling your situation. How do you live with the guilt, bacause I feel horrible and depressed. I feel like I don't value myself as a woman. Am I a bad person?