Totally Lost

In March I had an ectopic pregnancy. I was able to have a methotrexate shot to terminate the pregnancy however in June we learned that the tube on that left side is blocked. It was like having a second ectopic pregnancy. I can't help but blame myself. In college I also had a miscarriage so I can't help but blaming myself for everything. I just felt like a failure in every aspect of my life following everything. I just can't motivate myself to do anything. I want to improve my life, get a new job, finish my dissertation but I just can't seem to get myself to believe in myself. The one thing that I always thought that I would be good at, always be able to do I can't seem to do. I just feel so lost.
eato0002 eato0002
36-40, F
Sep 10, 2012