First Time Being Pregnant.

This weekend was the most amazing and the most saddest moment in my life. I spent almost all my life enjoying life and I was at the point where I was comfortable having a baby and being a mother. I went on a trip this past weekend and spent the whole weekend suffering on the hotel bed with my boyfriend rubbing my belly. I knew something was not right and as soon as I got back on the plane home, I went to my doctors. Turned out that I was pregnant and I was very excited about that. That night at 10:30pm. I experienced the most excruciating pain in my life. For hours. I suffered through it until morning. Drove myself to the ER and the nurses was convinced that I was having a miscarriage. An ultrasound was done and my little baby was in my Fallopian tube. I was so devastated. It was my first time being pregnant and I wanted him in my belly. I asked the doctor if there was a way I can keep it and he pointed to the fetus and said, "This baby? No way." That was when I broke down. It had already ruptured my left Fallopian tube so I was going to lose that too. They got me into and emergency operating room as soon as they can and I woke up without a baby and without my left tube. I felt so empty inside. I would have traded anything for those two things back.
GoldenSlumbers GoldenSlumbers
31-35, F
1 Response Dec 15, 2012

I know exactly how you feel. I hope that your boyfriend is giving you plenty of love and support. I just had my right tube and baby removed on the 27th of Nov. i have two children already but have recenty married and have been trying for this baby for almost a year. Give yourself time to grieve, people who have not gone throughh this will not understand your pain they wont get that there is a tiny little hole in your heart for that baby that you wanted so badly. Just take things one day at a time. I hope that you are receiving the support you need. I am not so i am dealing with this loss by myself. I'm not sure what comforting words i can give as my grief is still very much there i just wanted you to know i read your story and i acknowledge your pain as i am feeling the same pain too and your are not alone