Questioning Our Reality...

Before I begin, I would like to say that the following experiences began before Inception was released.

I'm almost twenty. These experiences started happening when I was in my early teens.

I went through this phase of having memory blocks. I'd suddenly not remember what I'd been doing for the past few minutes or hours. I'd try and remember a mundane event from a day or two before, or even moments before, and it would bring on agonising headaches as not matter how much I tried, I wouldn't be able to remember what I'd just done. We all have moments where we forget if we've just flushed the chain or not, but I was forgetting everything I'd done with my life for a short period of time. I wasn't on medication, wasn't becoming susceptible to any illness. I have no idea what would have caused the onset of these. After a few weeks, the memory blocks just...went away.

You might be wondering how that's relevant to my story, but my strangest OBE happened in that time.

Often in life, I have moments where I suddenly snap out of reality. It's for a few seconds at most, where I feel like I'm not entirely me, inside myself. I feel like I'm somewhere else, watching me and everything around me. I feel like I'm watching a film from afar, or dreaming my life, rather than actually being alive in this reality. The feeling is very unnerving. I haven't noticed a pattern to the OBEs; they don't seem to always happen in interesting moments, or in traumatic situations, etc. I can go for months without having such an experience.

During those memory block weeks, I had a very different experience.

I was in the shower at the time, and suddenly I felt like I was outside my body - initially in the same way as usual. But then I cut to a different scene. I was in a hospital ward (well, I assume it was a hospital). Probably a private hospital, as the ward didn't look so sterile and uninviting as normal hospital wards. It was a small ward, with brown walls. A cosy-looking darker brown. There were windows, but the blinds were pulled. The blinds were the ones with vertical strips you tend to get in offices. They too, were brown. I couldn't see any light shining through the cracks, so I assumed it was night. There were some flowers on a side-table and a comfy chair. The patient in the ward was residing in a very comfortable room, which felt safe. It felt like it was meant for someone who was going to be stuck in there for a long time and needed a lot of help. Who was in the bed? Me. Hooked up to wires and machines. I was in a coma. It was as if I had just entered the room and was looking at myself in shock.

Then, my view changed. I was inside myself - my coma self. I could hear voices. I could hear murmurs. Not loud enough for me to hear what the people were saying. I must have become my floating visitor self lying inside my coma self's body, as I was able to turn my head and look towards the source of the voices. On the left wall was a frosted glass window. The shadows on the other side of it were not clearly defined silhouettes for me be able to tell exactly if one was male, female, doctor, visitor, etc. There was a small group of them, I know that. I just assumed - as I was in a hospital ward - that everyone outside were doctors and nurses.

Then, I flicked to the other side of the window, amongst the doctors and nurses. Their murmurs were louder, but still I couldn't hear them loudly enough to get snippets of their conversations. It felt quite busy though, like several conversations were going on at once between the group, apart from two who were having their own discussion. One of these shadows did sound male and spoke with an authoritative voice.

Then, I snapped back into reality and was in the shower again. All of this happened within a few seconds. It all felt so real. I'm not sure if it happening during the time of the memory blocks is significant or not - it just seems weird for my head to suddenly alter, and that I had the longest, most vivid OBE I've ever had during that time.

A couple of occasions after that experience, I saw myself in the ward again, but I've only been inside my coma-self, hearing murmurs again. While I'm lying in the coma, I'm dreaming about the life I'm living in this reality. I'm just watching myself. It's weird.

The OBEs have been happening for many years, but it's those initial views of the ward I had in the shower that have really bugged me. They felt so real. I was definitely awake. I remember them happening and the confusion I felt afterwards. I haven't been able to let it go because it felt so much like that ward reality is real, and that this life is merely the dream of coma-patient me. I don't feel like I'm truly alive in this world until I snap out of the OBE.

I've told some of my family about it before, and they just think I'm mad and say I shouldn't tell anybody because they'll just think the same. But it's making me feel so curious about whether this reality is real or not, and when Inception came out, I didn't feel quite so strange, as people began to wonder whether this life is a dream.

I think these have been really cool experiences. Although they can be unnerving, I'm honoured to have had them - whether they're a glimpse into the past, present, future, or simply temporary blips in my sanity. They have fascinated me for years, and will probably intrigue me until I die.
priestessBC priestessBC
18-21, F
1 Response Jan 5, 2013

Well, I must say that u are not alone in wondering this fact.I have never had an OBE but have researched at length and this impossible.I think maybe your consciousness split up and u went into a another world just like the one u are in now.In other words u have many same selves living out other lives but with different happenings.In one u may be in a coma and in another one u were never in that accident.I lately have been having dreams that are so vivid and real that I can see in detail where I live down to the pictures on the wall and furniture.It is a similar earth but slightly in the future and not so evil of a place.Much cleaner and no poor people.I wake up and realizemy present mindhas never seen the likes of these homes even in magazines.So guess one never knows we all dream every night anyway.Maybe the dream state is our real world outside of this linear time.