I Have Done A Lot Of Mistakes.. But This One Is What I Am Regretting For!

Hi friends!

Well, here goes my story. When I was 18, I loved a guy. He seemed to be nice, but as days passed on, he became over possessive and restricted me to some rules which do not apply to him (but only me, naturally). then i totally got fed up with him and his behavior. One fine day I broke up with him. Gosh! that was terrible and very difficult.

At that weakest stage, a senior of mine became my friend. Then I was 19. He tried to cheer me up, flattered me, made me feel comfortable and move on with my life. I am really thankful to the way he helped me to get out of that most vulnerable emotional condition.

But later on, he turned up the same. He was over possessive, he had a lot of female friends and of course had 2-3 break ups earlier. He was good to me, but always doubting. he was very short-tempered. Atleast once in a week, we used to have a fight. He wouldn't talk to me, it was a very tiresome task for me to cry, beg him for forgiveness (though the mistake was not always mine) and get him back to normal. This lasted for 2 long years. His craving for sex, his friends who used to make fun of me, all this was so ugly and seemed to be dirty.

Every time, I was fed up with my life and wanted to get over it. But, somewhere in a corner of my heart, i felt i shouldn't leave him, because people may think me bitchy. this went on and on... Now he moved away to another place, another state.

After he moved away, I felt the relation is becoming weak and I tried my best to make it strong. But i couldn't. I felt its all waste to love someone who's entirely different from my culture, my tradition, my religion and my nature. Though that's not an issue, i didn't feel him that deserving for whom i should keep on craving for love for my entire life. 2 months back, we had a fight and then he messaged me "I guess you found my substitute. I don't need you. You can move on". This message broke my heart. It just made me think what all i went through these 2 long years and the way he understood me. I finally decided to leave him. I didn't reply nor called him since den. I just stopped.

My parents want me to marry a family friend of mine. Now this guy is totally awesome, very caring and very loving. He respects my parents n me. He is nice, same as of my tradition, culture and religion.

Finally, I felt this is the correct guy whom I should get married to. My parents and their parents are very happy about this. But, I never spoke to this person about my past. Because, i'm worried. I am his first love and I don't know how he would take it if i would tell him the long story of mine. I just don't want to ruin my life with this guy. Being with him is a heaven and the way he treats me, is entirely different from what all I went through. Probably, he's a gift from God.!
So, I don't wanna discuss anything about my past life with him.

But now, I don't know what's wrong with my ex, from the past two days, he started to message me on social networking and started to mail me. He's been forwarding all the mails I sent him before. This is when I started to realize that my ex- is the biggest mistake I've ever done in my life. I just hate my past life. I wanna avoid him totally and I just don't wanna talk to him. I just want him to leave me and go away.
Help me please.. Because I am in a situation where my past life is going to ruin my heavenly future...!!!
Meganox Meganox
Sep 20, 2012