By The Same GuyFirst post. I don't really know how to start this. I'm bad at sharing things that make me feel weak about myself. I always want to be a strong woman, and I am. This just makes me feel so powerless. The guy I fell in love with my freshman year of college and have been with on and off for three years dumped me yet again. It's really nothing new. It happened a while ago, actually. However, he keeps trying to contact me. He has dumped me three times. Why would I stick with someone like this? I don't know. I guess it's because, unfortunately for me, I love him with my whole heart. I've never felt this way about anyone before, and I'm scared I never will. He flat out told me one time, that he didn't love me. That's why we were breaking up: he thought he could love me, but he couldn't. He was scared. Excuse after excuse. Now, he's writing me again although our last breakup is months behind us. I'm in a different country than him, for crying out loud, and he still writes me. He's written four times, and I've ignored every single mail, because he just ends up breaking my heart time after time.
I feel as though I have no one to talk to about this. Last time we got back together we had to sneak around everywhere, because my friends hate him for breaking my heart repeatedly and his friends hate him, because they love me and don't want him to hurt me anymore. So, we kept "us" a secret, and then he dumped me again. That was the last time. Now, he's written me saying how he wants to talk, understands that I don't want to talk, but that he definitely wants to talk. Followed by, "goodbye beautiful." It made me burst into tears. Why did I even read this? It's the same thing every time. Yet, I hold out hope. I hold out hope that I've misjudged him. I hold out hope that he DOES love me. Why else would he do this over and over?
How do I know if he loves me? What do I do? Do I respond to him? Do I continue ignoring him although it hurts? I'm going back to where he lives again soon and I don't know if he'll want to see me. The worst is that I WANT to see him. I WANT to get back with him. Yet, I don't if it will only hurt me again. Do I sound crazy yet? I hope not. I could write an entire essay about this for days. The point is: am in love with a guy who doesn't love me, but tries to get back with me all the time, and I'm feeling hopeless, lost, and heartbroken. Please, share your words of wisdom. I usually never post on this sort of thing, but I feel like I have no one to talk to about this.