The Pain

I fell in love. It wasn't expected. I was just looking for a friend. Some company. Someone to be in touch with, have a laugh with. But despite myself I fell in love.

There is no point in telling me what a fool I was because I know that already. I don't need to hear you telling me to be more careful, its done and it will never happen again. She was one in a billion. A wild, passionate, rare and untamable creature.

I gave my heart. She obsessed me. I could think of nothing else. I couldn't eat or sleep. I longed for the day to pass so we could talk again. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life and she loved me. It was the most amazing time I have ever had. It didn't matter that we lived in different circumstances, it didn't matter I am in Australia and she in the US. Nothing mattered - just our talks and spending that time with each other is all that mattered.

Then I come to work and find an email waiting for me. I have caused her pain because I can't be with her so.. it is ended. It is done just after it begun. All the plans for the future trashed. All the ideas, the maybe's, the possibilities.

My heart is broken. I have never had this feeling before and now I understand why people write songs about it. Why people do crazy things when they feel this way.

All that and just in the space of one week. It all seems impossible now - one week? I can't bear this feeling.
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Dec 5, 2012