In the depths of my hell, the worst of my times, an angel appeard in my life. i truely believe i would not be here if she had not come into my life. She was my first love. I was also able to talk about my fight with depression, i told her alot that know one else knows. she pulled me very far out of the hole i had become stuck in, but my depression was not gone. we had very fun times, but eight months into it, we began falling apart, i still had depression (i don't know why, my life had never been so perfect), she got tired of me, i don't blame her because i would trip out, and get upset over pointless things, depressed people just aren't as fun to be around. so that was it. she left, depression grew, i lost my love, but i realized she was an angel. she was sent to me, she saved me. so for that i will always love her, for i owe her my life. so she may have broke my heart, but iwithout her i wouldn't even have it.

nickwentskating nickwentskating
18-21, M
10 Responses Oct 6, 2008

at least you recognize and do not deny that you did not do anything wrong and with that it would have ended worse, and knowing about your depression, your not making it worse by seeing what shes doing to move on with her life. you know that you have to work on yourself, the part that she came into your life and got out of your hole is a big sign to finish it as you do see that, seek treatmeant, only think positive and do lots of things that you like, never fail at it. happiness is important with yourself before getting with others.

I guess i'm on the same boat. It took me over 2 years to get over my ex which ended very badly. I guess you could say theres alot of bitterness, especially on my side. We've long stopped talking, but I think that, from signs, that she still has a very large part of me still inside her heart but I can't just go on as friends or anything. So I think she got the point, and let me live my live and to find my own direction which I guess I needed. Few years on and I've met another girl at uni, a really pure and extremely lovely person who really has brightened alot of my dim days.<br />
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I'm not sure if what i'm going to say will make anyone feel better in the slightest but I hope that even if I can make anyone elses day better than it'll make me feel better as a person.<br />
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Think about this first.<br />
"Some days wouldn't be special, if it wasn't for rain. Joy wouldn't feel so good, if it wan't for pain."<br />
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I found out the hard way, however, I truly believe that time is the best healer, what you find difficult to come to terms with will most certainly pass. Its only your current state of emotion that you are blinded by loss, guilt, hate or whatever you may feel. To put it simpler: image yourself in a few months or years from now. You will honestly question yourself as to why you were like that in the first place. So, what would you say to yourself to better your life in another persons perspective? You really gotta think about that, and once you know what you would say, you stick to that.<br />
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You have to tell yourself to live a better life. Every moment wasted is a moment you will never, ever get back. So, would you rather live these precious moments regretting and getting sad over the past and 'What if's'? Or, would you rather live these moments smiling and living your life to the full? I know i've tried, but if you have as well, don't bother trying to forget someone. It's as they say: Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew. You've gotta learn to be tough, to mould your live around them and start now to better yourself as a person.<br />
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Here's a quote which has really made me think about my life and it's worth:<br />
“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching.”<br />
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I'm sorry for such a long ramble... I could've written an essay on this but I doubt anyone would even read this in a long, long time..<br />
Truth is, i'm no guru. I'm just your ordinary uni student who has had his share of a shattered heart but i'm still living life and breathing. Like I said, I'm not even sure if this will brighten anyone's life just that little bit more... but if it does, keep your head up, keep on smiling. =]<br />
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i am in the same situation you were in years ago. I do not know how you got to the point of being very at peace with the situation. Because I cant seem to find the strength. I need a friend right now.

good for you

You've experienced it years ago. I am experiencing it now. I am not thankful. Bitterness suround me.

I too have a depression. We have exactly the same situation. My boyfriend left me but good thing you don't have bitterness. I have anger in my heart when my ex boyfriend left me. The thing is that, I set aside my ego. I called him. I texted him. I chased him for 2 months. He didn't reply, even period. I saw his faacebook. and he was chatting with other girl. They are getting closer. Anger filled me. My depression kills. I cry when I woke up and before I sleep. Even in the bus or whenever I think of him. I can't be thankful of his existence in my life. He replaced me that fast. He dumped me that fast. He moved on that fast. I hate it. I hate myself. I hate him. I wish I could move on.

trust me...its true...we need to buck up...probably we are not allowing someone better to step in...we need to revive our self worth..its worth it

I feel for you. It was the break up that sent me into a depression though.

i have been on the side of your girlfriend. my husband is bipolar, depressed. abusive. distant at times and it does want to make you run for the hills kicking and screaming. and i have left but i always come back because love is unconditional and if there is really something there you still want to fight for it no matter what. can you still try reaching out to her and telling her how you feel and what you know now that you didnt know then?

The same has happened to me