Broken Heart

 

My first ex girlfriend (my true love) and I admitted we still loved each other 7 years after I cheated and we split up, there are a few problems that are keeping us apart mainly the distance that we live apart, things were going okish between us, I split up with the woman I was seeing at the time (who was married) because I felt guilty because of my love towards my true love (first ex girlfriend) we talked and we were making plans for me to go and see her then the same day she told me that she was dating another girl I was upset but I really think that I do deserve what’s happening  she went away for a month and I missed her like crazy today was the first time we have talked in over a month and she has been back for over a week, she went out with a “friend” of hers on Saturday night god how I hate that ***** she treats my true love so bad and makes her feel bad all the time and today the first time we spoke she decided to tell me that this weekend coming she and the evil ***** cow might start dating fucken hell, it’s happening all over again now don’t get me wrong yes I am jealous I love and desire this woman with everything I am I love her for a million different reasons and have for many years a love that has grown deeper and stronger and really just want to protect her from being hurt again, she dated another woman who treated her like this one does and I am worried it will happen all over again, it wouldn’t matter who she was dating it would hurt but for a year now she has been telling me that there is nothing between them and never would I know I shouldn’t be angry that something may but I am, I just feel like she has been lying all this time that's what hurts the most that's why I have been crying all morning but I still feel I deserve this I know I hurt her so much when I cheated on her and now I think this is karma coming back to bite me in the ***, I know it’s not her because she isn’t the type of person to hurt another on like this, I really want to be with her more than anything in the world but if not me than anyone else other than this evil ***** cow, I would be ok with I would still be hurt and jealous but not to the point of tears even tho she is dating this ***** I still think we will end up together in the further I think we are made to be with each other we know each other so well we have been fighting so hard to stay in each other’s life the only thing that is keeping us apart is the distance between our lives so I have to go to her but I can’t at this time, we both need to get our lives to a better point and only then will we be able to be together and try I don’t know when that will happen but I am sure one day it will because I know if I was there with her things would be different but that doesn’t mean my heart is braking at this point in time do you think I’m a idiot ?????

bubble24 bubble24
22-25, F
Mar 10, 2009