I Thought I Was Goin Mad

for yrs ive been havin strange dreams about spirits and id wake havin what felt like a seizure... i rarely told ppl about wat i saw because i was so young n just thought theyd brush it off as a nightmare... but over the last 5yrs since my parents passed away ive been havin very bad episodes... my dad died in 04 and a few months after i had a dream that i was in bed and my dad popped his head round my door n he kept sayin "its ok, go to sleep go to sleep" n then he started strangling me n wen i woke i couldnt breath and my whole body was vibrating and i felt like i was sinkin into the bed, i was very distressed but couldnt figure it out... then my mam passed in 07 and i was still sleepin in my sisters bed because i was so upset i was only 19 then n felt like my whole world had crumbled,, my sister went out drinkin one nite n i stayed on the couch to wait up for her but wen she came home she had a man wit her so i decided to stay on the couch, i finally drifted off to sleep and my mam came to me and again i was dreaming about being asleep on the couch wen my mam appeared but i had a long conversation wit her, i asked was i the only one that could see her and she said no that she had just gone to see my sisters, i asked her how my dad was n she said he was workin in a chemist and that he was happy(im not makin this up believe me) then she said that wed have a *** b4 she went but the thing was b4 my mam died some of my family didnt no she was smokin,,, anyway she took out a *** and we were smokin n chattin away but then there was a noise in the hall so i told her hide her *** n case my sister saw her smokin but then i woke my whole body shakin uncontrollably again like i was havin a seizure!!! i was hystericall n then i saw that the front door had been left open, n i mean wide open like somebody had walked in or out n hadnt bothered to close it...... about 2yrs later i kept havin a dream about a monster like woman that hovered over my bed tryin to reach down to strangle me n again i awoke to the seizure and lack of breath!!! its been a while since this has happened  n it was only last fri that i went to see a crisis nurse and told her about these dreams that she mentioned sleep parlysis to me n finally i felt like i had an answer... all along i thought i was strange n shouldnt be telling ppl about this but its like a weight being lifted off me just writing this:) lorraine.....

lorrainekelly316 lorrainekelly316
22-25, F
Feb 23, 2010