It Just Adds To The Confusion

So I'll get straight to the point my dad passed away in 2003 in a car accident. I was still really young like just turned four my understanding was his death meant I could not see him again. All I wanted was to see him one more time. Just once and I would never ask for anything ever again from God. I thought a prayer was asking a favor and I didn't want to ask for too many because that's just rude. Well I was in the living room doing whatever and my dad kind of walked in front of me and stopped looked at me and smiled then he was gone. It wasn't for a couple of years until I told my mom. I've doubted it ever happened and I still doubt a lot of what the Bible says, but last year my family went on vacation in southern California. We went on a ghost tour of the Queen Mary and I kept seeing black shapes whiz around apparently my mom did too. That could easily of been our eyes. Though, while in the old pool room thingy I snapped two photos on my phone and in one of them there is a thing on the balcony by the exit sign. It looks like someone in a cloak leaning over the edge a little bit. Like they were kind of chilling looking down and around, y'know? Guess that means there is an afterlife and maybe a God and I'm not insane.
But...there isn't a solid scientific theory for any of this. I know we weren't created over the period of seven days because they sent probe into space to far into space that is did some trick **** and captured light emitted from the big bangs explosion. Evolution is pretty solid too and its all things that we can test and explain. Data doesn't lie someone could make a mistake but when the experiment is done over and over again they catch those mistakes and fix them.
Although, the Egyptians creation myth says there was a nothingness then God (I cant remember their Gods name but its all the same) ********** and his ***** created the world...Well there was a nothingness it was a water-like void and then everything exploded from one single point caring all the necessity's for life. The Egyptians story is pretty similar to what actually happened. Now I know a lot of people believe in miracles like Adam and Eve with the snake and Jesus but if God (whoever/whatever that is) created the universe and all its workings why would he directly violate the codes of conduct?
Nothing makes any sense! And don't even say to take it all with faith I need to know the truth I need to know what exactly what I am and where I am and why I am and there must be proof a legitimate answer because this is all there is and I wont live in ignorance and lies.
It feels weird even saying that but this is my life I should be able to understand it, right?
KileeD KileeD
13-15, F
Jan 20, 2013