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Herpes For Love/life

I have herpes. I fell in love with a great girl a short way into our relationship she informed me. We had sex a few times before. I knew the risks but was so in love with her. I thought she was the one. Things were intense and passionate for years, but I had some other issues and ended up depressed and the relationship suffered because it if. After 6 years she broke it off. So far it's been 3 months I still love her... This is the hardest thing for me to deal with. I've never loved someone like her she brings out the best in me and feel so deeply connected. Having a hard time moving on from this I don't want to give it to anyone whom I profess to love. I don't want to move on but I guess I must.... I am a person who loves to be close and touched and now I just want to be alone and it's killing me. I've moved 1200miles and make a lot more money than I used to but I just don't care if I have noone to share my life with.( I may move back in the fall) so heartbreak and hsv on top of that making it hard to move on. I guess I'm lucky I am asymptomatic since my initial outbreak 5 years ago. I've struggled with depression most of my life. I let it take my love away, take all of the joy out of my life. Now this happens and I'm sinking so far down I just want to die each day. Seeing a councilor and taking antidepressants but nothing distracts me from my pain. I'm alone and ashamed. I chose this for love. What a fool... I guess I deserve this...
DeformedPenguin DeformedPenguin 31-35, M 9 Responses Jan 24, 2012

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You are not alone...and I am the living proof of that!!! The virus is not the end of the world, please try try and try to think positive.

I've had herpes for a few years, and usually use acyclovir cream and famcyclovir pills for it. I guess those help a bit, but I heard good things about hsv-zero topical treatment, and I'll chime in and recommend it. It speeds up the healing a lot, and sometimes prevents the outbreak altogether for me, if I slather it on when I get itchy.

I know how you feel. I also did it for love and now after two years that love is gone. I am also scared, and alone. But I did choose this, he was honest from the beginning. No one to blame but myself. I keep telling myself it will get better but deep down I know it won't.

Wow..my story is shockingly similar to yours only I'm a woman who was left by a man who didn't bother to tell me what he was giving me..our relationship was perfect..i had never loved someone or felt loved by someone so much in my life..and i probably never will let myself again..the stress and distress i felt after finding out that he had given me hsv2 literally broke me and i took it out on him a lot but i was soo angry..soon i found out that he had also been cheating on me. i stayed with him because i felt so dirty and useless and i could only feel comfortable sexually with him..i dropped out of a university and moved back home to recover..i hoped that being back home closer to him would fix our relationship but instead the cheating and fighting just escalated...i felt trapped in my own life miserable..finally the fighting got so bad that it turned physical and i decided that the pain of losing someone i loved and the pain of moving on was less than the pain of staying in a relationship like this..but like you, i am so frustrated by the fact that i cannot even make myself try to move on because i cannot put someone else through what ive been through.

I am going through the exact same thing now. I meet my soul-mate, disclosed my clean bill of sexual health with her, and we became intimate. Eventhough I never asked her about her sexual health, I assumed that since I showed her medical records supporting my clean sexual health, that she would at least insist that we use protection if she did have an std. We didn't use protection, she didn't tell me she had herpes, and 2 months latter I found out I had it. I was so angry then depressed and then I became accepting of it. My rational was we were getting married and I don't have to worry about passing it along to anyone else because this is the love of my life. I often felt that she couldn't have loved me and knowingly give me a life long std. We were married 4 years and she has downplayed the effects that her dishonesty had on our relationship but highlights everything negative that I did. I also suffer from depression and addiction. When she left me and started living with another man while we were still married, I was devastated and I wanted to know how can this woman do this. I felt betrayed, used, and abandoned. She loved the misery she had me in. I began using drug heavily again and my life has taken a downward spiral. I just can't believe that there are people out there who are intentionally passing this disease out. The killing part is that I accepted her even after she betrayed me by not telling me initially. Now, she leaves me with this std for another man. Life is a ***** and then you die.................................

I am going through the exact same thing now. I meet my soul-mate, disclosed my clean bill of sexual health with her, and we became intimate. Eventhough I never asked her about her sexual health, I assumed that since I showed her medical records supporting my clean sexual health, that she would at least insist that we use protection if she did have an std. We didn't use protection, she didn't tell me she had herpes, and 2 months latter I found out I had it. I was so angry then depressed and then I became accepting of it. My rational was we were getting married and I don't have to worry about passing it along to anyone else because this is the love of my life. I often felt that she couldn't have loved me and knowingly give me a life long std. We were married 4 years and she has downplayed the effects that her dishonesty had on our relationship but highlights everything negative that I did. I also suffer from depression and addiction. When she left me and started living with another man while we were still married, I was devastated and I wanted to know how can this woman do this. I felt betrayed, used, and abandoned. She loved the misery she had me in. I began using drug heavily again and my life has taken a downward spiral. I just can't believe that there are people out there who are intentionally passing this disease out. The killing part is that I accepted her even after she betrayed me by not telling me initially. Now, she leaves me with this std for another man. Life is a ***** and then you die.................................

Positive singles.com look it up...

It sounds bitter sweet for ya. I had a scare like that and by the grace of someone or something I was able to not contract the very same disease you wrote about. Ironically it turns out I may have something more serious (hereditary) life is funny like that...

Sorry. Big (((((HUG))))) for you. Hope you'll find true love.