Tell Your Partner That You Have Herpes Before Sex. This Is My Story About What Happened Because I Didn't. He Now, May Have Herpes ..

This is something that we should DEFINITELY all talk about. "HOW TO TELL YOUR PARTNER THAT YOU HAVE HERPES"

I have been seriously struggling for the past few weeks. Since I was diagnosed with herpes HSV-2 about 7 months ago, I haven't been with anyone, so I haven't been put in the situation where I had to tell anyone that I have tested positive. I told myself that I wouldn't be with anyone unless I knew they were ready to hear and could handle the truth about my status. I wanted to make sure that I chose the right person to trust with this information. Well, I met someone a few weeks ago that I really started to like. We met at the club, and decided to go out on our first date to a local casino... It was awesome, we had a great night, lost a lot of money and drank WAY too much. The night ended with sex.
Here's the thing, I am NOT the kind of girl who won't tell someone that I have herpes I would NEVER, EVER want anyone to have to go through what I did finding out. I wouldn't want anyone to be in my position and have to worry about telling someone about herpes, being rejected and all the other horrible things that come along with having HSV-2. I wouldn't ever intentionally infect anyone. I don't know what it was ... why I didn't just SAY IT... maybe it was the fear of being rejected, maybe it was the alcohol, maybe I was just scared, but I know that I just couldn't get it out ... I tried so hard that night. I kept saying that "I couldn't do this" I stressed it for about 5 minutes, but things weren't slowing down, I was completely wasted and he just wasn't listening to me. Not only that, but what, really, was I supposed to say when he was practically already sticking his **** inside me? But, the reality is, you're going to be put in these situations. If you're reading this, PLEASE take my word for it: TELL YOUR PARTNER ABOUT HERPES BEFORE YOU HAVE SEX, even if you're right in the middle of it like I was.. don't get caught up in the moment ....
Anyway, we hung out again last night .. I kept saying that I wasn't going to be with him again unless he knew my status and that I would tell him when the time was right, but we hooked up again last night. Keep in mind that he wore a condom both times, but that doesn't always protect 100% from STDs. The next morning he called me out ... kinda made a joke about it, but asked if I was clean and I just told him everything. Without saying one word to me, he got in his car and left. I don't know what else I was expecting.... any SMART person would be worried, upset, mad and all of the above. I would be, too if I were in his position. I like this guy, a lot, and maybe that's why I didn't tell him right away ... I kept saying that I was going to wait and see if he was worth knowing my status or not, but there was no waiting involved .. things just kept escalating and I kept pushing back the time that I would tell him. Don't let this be you. I've never been so hurt in my entire life. I pray to God that he didn't contract herpes from me. Even if he never talks to me again, I don't ever want to be that girl who gave herpes to any amazing guy just because I was too much of a ***** to see what the outcome would be if I did tell him. He, and NOBODY else deserves to have this...
Although, herpes doesn't physically affect my life that much, it affects me emotionally .... a lot. I've only had one outbreak and it wasn't that bad, but sometimes, emotional pain can hurt even more than physical pain. I'm writing this tonight to try to help people see that they can't be afraid to tell the truth. Tell your partner BEFORE you have sexual intercourse. You don't want to have to deal with what I'm dealing with right now... I promise, it's not worth it. I wish that I could take it all back, I really do. I wish I would have told him the first night that I met him, but I didn't, and I've learned from this. Please pray that he doesn't have it. If you need help deciding how or when to tell your partner that you have herpes, there are websites, books, etc. that you can look up. Do your research ... it pays off. Being knowledgeable about what we all have will make your partner feel more comfortable. Don't be afraid of telling them ... God has a reason for everything. If the person you really like doesn't stick around because of herpes, then you will find someone who loves you for you and who will stick around. There are ways to have sexual intercourse and GREATLY reduce the risk of transferring the disease to your loved one. Always use a condom, and if your partner really wants to reduce risk of contracting herpes virus you can get pills from your doctor to take every day that will reduce the chance of outbreak at all times. This is called suppression of outbreaks. JUST TO LET EVERYONE KNOW: This guy was the 3rd person that I've had to tell about herpes. The first person I told ENDED UP HAVING IT TOO. The second person I told was OK with it, still kinda worried, but knew that we could get through it and still wanted to be with me. (he ended up moving) Maybe if I would have told this last guy beforehand the outcome would have been different...
Jennyboo18 Jennyboo18
18-21, F
1 Response Dec 1, 2012

following up after my post:
I haven't heard a thing from him except one phone call asking if I had an outbreak while we were intimate. I said no, I did not (which, I didn't). He hasn't talked to me since then.. not only DELETED me from facebook, but blocked me as well.. probably has changed his number, too but I'm not going to find out. There is a great chance that this is what will happen to you, too if you don't tell your partner BEFOREHAND.