Having A Hard Time Staying "positive" About Being Positive.

I'm a 20 yr/o African American college student and was recently diagnosed with HSV-2 about a week ago.

It's like my thoughts are constantly revolving around this diagnosis. I keep asking myself questions: How long have I had it? Who gave it to me? Did they know and just not tell me? How could I not know? What will my parents think, if I decide to tell them? What will future love interests think? Will I ever have sex again? Etc...

I feel somewhat dirty, ashamed and depressed and am just plastering on my smile for my family. My sister, my best friend, and my ex and current partner know. But I feel like my sister and friend can't really understand how I feel. My best friend is mostly supportive but keeps badgering me to tell my parents, and I just can't yet. I don't think she really gets it. My partner isn't angry or anything. We slept together for the first time two nights ago. We have been talking for about 2 months and known each other for several. When we had sex, I had no idea. No hints, clues, signs. No symptoms. My Ex is more focused on his jealousy of my current partner than the virus itself.

I'm just having a hard time dealing with this and have little support. I know it's not a death sentence. I can live a pretty normal life. But at the present time, it doesn't feel that way. Any advice?
JayMi2011 JayMi2011
22-25, F
Dec 5, 2012