I'm Not Just Some Big Germ, Ya Know!

I'm now 28 years old and there's not a day that goes by that I don't remember the day that I was contracted with Genital Herpes Type 2, Herpes Simplex Virus, however you wish to put it. Now I can't tell you the exact day because that there I've officially put out of my mind but it's been 7 years now since I've found out...I don't dread it anymore...I remember the day I found out, though, the day the nurse called me from the hospital to "confirm" what the doc said was true...well, I was on the phone chatting it up with this guy I'd been so crazy about, I didn't love him but had love for him...he was THERE for me after I told him, I even admitted to wanting to pop some (prescription) pills to end my life, hell, I didn't know what to do. He obviously talked me out of that, clearly, I was too much of a punk to do that anyway. I've always been the type to think that if you took your own life that was only one place you'd end up...just my thoughts...
So, anyway...from that day on the stress the came and outbreaks, OMYMF'INGOODNESS, when I say painful, hunny....that's an understatement. I recall one woman online..somewhere I'd read on Google, she described her 1st initial outbreak as "it felt as though I was ******* razorblades", YES! That about sums it up. I wanted to die, I wanted to smack my own self upside the head for being so ******* stupid and catching this horrible, horrible disease.

7 years later...I'm 28 years old now...I'm a mother of one beautiful, adorable little girl whose going to be turning 3 in just a few weeks and I'm also 7 months pregnant and will be having another a little girl just shortly....it's a beautiful thing to know my 1st born was born vaginally and even though I was considered to be a high-risk pregnancy, my little love was born without contracting the virus from me, so I have the Lord to thank for that...
And I'm praying the same my newest baby, as well.

One thing that I've learned is just because you slipped up, had sex unprotected or even caught it some other type of way, whatever the case my have been: WE are still beautiful inside and out, we're still normal just like the next person, we're not a big GERM like some may think. Life can and will still go on, we cannot let this make or break us.
I know, firsthand, it can be tough "breaking the news" to friends/family/lovers, etc but you know what, if they can't accept us for who we are and not what we did before, then so be it. I personally feel it's a tad easier to talk to strangers about my "situation" rather than family, how backwards, right?

But hey, life will go on, I'm done turning the other cheek being concerned about what the next person's going to think, this is MY LIFE, as the saying goes: **** happens. You live and you learn, right?

SunkissedByTheSun SunkissedByTheSun
26-30, F
1 Response Dec 10, 2012

Great story..this helped