There Is Hope

I contracted herpes from a jerk who was too afraid to tell me he had HSV2 because he thought I would leave him. I left him because he lied to me and the foundation of a relationship is built on trust. I was depressed, scared, and felt like no one would ever love me, but I didn't let it prevent me from finding love. The first guy I dated after contracting the virus didn't really think anything of it when I told him I had hsv2, but he wasn't long term relationship material so we wouldn't have slept together anyway. The second was a prude. I told him after 2 months of dating and not doing anything physical. He was shocked for sure, especially since he knew i wasn't promiscuous. I took him to my doctor afterwards for him to ask questions and she told him it wasn't that big of a deal and he was super weird about it so I ended it. He made me feel bad about myself and that isn't someone I want to spend my life with. And then I reconnected with my now fiancé. We dated 2 months before I told him and he didn't even flinch, but instead he told me he liked me for me and that one of his ex gfs had it so no Biggy. I was so relieved and felt on top of the world! We actually had sex that night after I told him. 1 year from our first date he asked me to marry him and I said yes. Herpes has never once been an issue in our relationship because he loves me for me and isn't grossed out by me. That is a man I want to marry, not the other two. And on a side note those other two guys i dated before my fiancé are still single. It wasn't me, it was them. When you are with a man who accepts you for everything you are that's a man you want to marry and be with, forget all the others! You won't be alone just get out there and try. You need to know your self worth. You aren't herpes you are you that happens to have had bad luck and basically has a stigmatized skin irritation. Good luck :) message me if you need to talk I'm here for you and a good listener :)
Aokaynow Aokaynow
6 Responses Jan 7, 2013

I really liked you story. I just found out I have it and feel no one will accept me for it.The person that gave it to me wont talk to me about it and ignored me after he was tested. I am scared to start anything new because I am embarssed and scared of rejection. Im glad that are some good people out there that accept people and not just look at the virus. Gives me some hope=)

I really enjoyed reading your post. I have been hanging out with this guy for almost two months now. And I'm starting to really like him, but I'm terrified of telling him. We havent slept with each other but he says that what he likes the most. I'm hoping that if and when I tell him I would get the reaction that you got. My past relationship has left me in pieces and I'm worried that coming to like someone else will end up the same way.

Ur story inspire me, i'm so happy for u.

I lately told the guy who I dated for 3 monthes, however it was my fault for not telling him what I have before we have intimacy.I know I didn't give it to him but I decide to tell him since I feel things between us are getting serious.
IHe got freak out and not talking with me for days, I can't handle the silence so I visited him w/o telling him. What confused me is that he invited me in when I visit and we had sex but only touching..etc. and now he's not talking w/ me again.
I dont' know what does that mean? do u think he's leaving me?

I'm so sorry you are experiencing heartache. In my experience, the best relationships are centered on trust and by not telling him and potentially risking his health and telling him after the fact he lost that trust and respect so that might be why he isn't communicating with you. I think that his reaction is normal because he is soaking things in and trying to figure out what he is going to do. I think you need to rebuild that trust. If things do not work out in your next relationship you need to start out as friends and build that trust and before being intimate tell him that you have herpes and then I would educated yourself and him about the virus and prevention. Let it soak in and provide him with as much information as he needs and I'm warning you intimacy will be awkward at first but soon as your trust develops then your relationship will blossom and you both will forget you even have herpes. Good luck to you and message me if you need to talk or need advice :)

Thank you very much for the replying, I really need someone to talk with.
I don't even know what to do and which way I should go.
I txted him on the day after my visiting telling him how to prevent it, he only replied me he undertand and still have to get used to idea.
I txted him in the follwing few days he turn out to be not replying.
I'm confused and don't know what to do.
I really want to know if I should move on. I don't want to push him but I really want to know the answer.

If I were you I would just move on and know what to do right next time. I think the trust has been broken by not telling him before you were intimate. I left the man that gave me the virus because he lied to me and didn't care enough about my health to tell me before we were intimate. The trust had been broken and to me that was unrepairable. I think to clear your conscious you deserve a fresh start with someone else where you tell them before being intimate that you have herpes. I would stop contacting that guy and move on and if he decides he wants a relationship he will pursue if not then his loss.

Thank you! You are right it isn't having the virus that's the bad part it's the stigma the virus has that is attached to other people's minds that is hard for us. I wish for everyone to find what I was able to find. We're all worthy people of love we were just dealt with a hand of bad luck.

I am so HAPPY for you! Your future is definitely bright, you made need to throw some shades on....Lol! :)

I'm glad you're with someone now who understands, but despite it all....loves you for being the person you are! It's never about the disease, it's about others accepting who we are......that alone alleviates our own discomfort about being "different!" You have a winner...keep him around! I wish you two much happiness in your marriage! :)

:) may you be blessed with a happy lifetime together :)