Unlucky

I am 22 and have recently been diagnosed with hsv. Its been about five months and I still havent rapped my head around it. About seven months ago my boyfriend who I have been with for three years told me that he was having a baby. I took it really hard but he wouldnt let the relationship go nor could I. I love him with everything but was hurt, confussed, and felt very little. I had only been with one other person before him so I felt like it was something that I wasnt doing or was doing wrong. As much as I didnt want to be with him, I didnt want to let him go. I found a guy that I could express all my feelings to and became intimate with. Unfortantely, I didnt know that he had hsv.On top of the feeling that I had felt before came more. Shame, dirty, disgusted, angry, confused, etc. I could speak of all the problems that I have had in the last 2 years but it would take forever. On top of having hsv, I slept with my boyfriend or exboyfriend not knowing. Now I feel like I have to stay with him because of this curse. Sadly, I met a guy who I have grown close to but do not feel like we could be anymore then friends because of my problems and me having an obligation to my ex now.
An Ep User An EP User
1 Response Jan 21, 2013

First off, you need to realize your self worth. You aren't a gross person, you just happen to have contracted a virus. Secondly, you do not have to stay with your ex because he gave you the virus or a cheater. You are worth more than that. You should develop a friendship with this other guy and leave the ex you are worth. Eventually you will get close to that friend and he will likely develop feelings for you and then you tell him how much he means to you etc and that you have been afraid to tell him that you have herpes because you were afraid he wouldn't accept you and I bet you will see he loves you for you. Don't ever be with someone you don't want to be with. Good luck :)

Thank you...It really feels good to hear someone say that because I have been having a really hard with it all.

Unfortunatesecret, I think the most scary part of the virus is other people's previewed notions of us because we are no different except now stigmatized by society because we got something we didn't have a choice on whether to have or not. This is my feelings on telling someone and having them accept you or not. If he's a genuinely good guy that's ready for commitment, loves you for you, or doesn't have preconceived notions of the virus he is worthy of dating. If he can't accept you for you then you should just write him off bc if he can't accept you for a virus then what else is he not going to accept.
When you tell him I would start out with saying I have something I've been afraid to tell you because I don't want you to leave me and then he'll think horrible things that it could be so it basically softens the blow, then tell him you don't just sleep with anyone and that you want to move forward with him and that you got herpes from a jerk in your past and it doesn't make you any less of a person and then educate him on how to prevent it what it means having it and how people stigmatize the virus when one in five people have it. Tell him he might even have it dormat in his body and if that's the case he can't get it from you. Good luck and good for you for telling him before you are intimate. MSG me if you need to talk :)