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I Waited Over 10 Years to Tell My Wife

I have had herpes for about 20 years. I worked in the nightclubs in my 20s, and was pretty promiscuous. Actually, I would have sex with nearly any girl that was pleasant to look at and would let me. I still remember all the emotions that went through me when I had my first outbreak. I had just started dating a girl that I had liked for quite some time. I was scared, and immediately went to see a doctor. He was pretty blunt, if not rude, about the whole thing. He handed me a tube of Zovirax cream, and said I would have this my whole life. That was it.

I immediately took my girlfriend to the doctor and had her checked. She was told everything was fine, and was sent on her way. We used condoms from that point on, but neither of us had ever been told about any kind of medication or anything to treat it. I don't know if it was available back then. Anyway, at some point we both decided to go our separate ways, and she never had any symptoms.

A few years later, I met who would become my first wife. We talked about the herpes before we got married. She was OK with it, and never brought up the subject again. We were married for 6 years, and to my knowledge she never caught it. I had frequent social contact with her after for a while after we split, and it was never talked about.

My (2nd and last) wife and I just had our 9th anniversary this year, and have been together for somewhere around 12 years. I am in my early 40s, she in her late 40s. I never told her that I had herpes until about 3 weeks ago. She initially took it better than I expected, though she was disappointed that I didn't trust her enough to tell her in the beginning. She said if I had told her about it in the beginning, it wouldn't have made any difference in her decision to marry me. It's hard to say for sure if it would have really made a difference, but I believe her.

A couple of weeks ago she developed a couple of sores. She was angry beyond belief - and rightly so! She immediately scheduled a doctor appointment and had a culture and blood tests done. She got every test for every STD known to man, including AIDS. This last week has been the most miserable of my life. I can't complain about the way she has treated me, because I deserve every minute of it. However, I have thought about what I have done to her. I never gave her the choice to make the decision for herself if she was willing to take this risk. I also never started any medication because she does the bills and would know.

Today, the doctor called. The sores were nothing more than ingrown hairs or something like that. There was no trace of anything in the culture. The blood test shows that she has been exposed to herpes, but the doctor said if she is showing to have been exposed but has not had an outbreak by now, she probably won't. She will only carry the virus. We have spoken, and she is now OK with the status of things, and we will work on repairing our relationship. I will also continue on the Valtrex I started last week.

MORAL: Be open and honest FROM THE BEGINNING. I don't necessarily mean on the first date, but at the point that you think things may progress beyond the friendship stage. You need to give the other person the opportunity to make that choice on their own. We, as a community of people  exposed to this virus, need to do all we can to stop the spread of it, and not allow others to go through the devastation and heartbreak that we did.

justme998 justme998 41-45 17 Responses Oct 7, 2008

Your Response


Hi there! Let's cure your herpes! Just follow our 3 simple steps and you will be cured! Go to oneminuteherpescure(.)com , i will tell you the only treatment that finally eliminates the real cause of herpes.

That does not work.

dont want to turn this into a debate over whether viradux is real or not. I just know I used it and my herpes cleared so I have no doubt. They are clear at the company site that it does not work for everyone, but for $30 bucks or so you can try it and find out.

I had mess up several possible relationship by telling them after I have intimacy to them that now I know telling ppl ahead is the right way doesn't matter how worry or upset will b if they leave u by this.
I told one last night, I appriciate he wants to stay friends with me and not judging me nor angry at me. He understood my difficulty.
I feel bad that I didn't tell him right at the begining that I may loose the possibility between he and I. I really care for him and think him an amazing person but too bad, now there may be friendship left only. :/

Not working... just type it in 8-)

Whoops try this:

[|Viradux-AU Company Website]

here is an actual link... thanks 8-)

Viradux Website

This is the second site I've seen you on promoting this product! What kind of commission are you making? When your on more than one website where people are feeling vulnerable and pouring their hearts out and here you come again with your Viradux cure I can only call bullshit on you Sir!

not a scam. I had herpes. I tried viradux au. my herpes are gone.

you have a right to your opinion but you might be preventing people from finding relief from this horrible disease.... it's that simple maritzad83

Not to give unwanted advice, but you and anyone you have had contact with should look into Viradux-AU. There are very important treatment breakthoughs that you can read about at their site:

I don't work for them, just hope this helps.

I just told the guy I dated for 3 monthes, he freaks out and not talking w/ me now even I know I didn't give it to him.
U're right, honest is the best. I really try to tell him as earliest I could but still too late for him.
I didnt' tell him till we had several sex already, I really didn't mean it, it just hard to say it out.
Esp. u dont' know who to trust, u can't tell anyone u meet.
I really try...I'm 28 I dont' know will I be able to meet someone can accept me as who I am.

I had herpes for almost a year now and during that time also I have tried several things. I did a search and I found the web site of HSV-Zero Product. Can control the outbreak, the important thing is to give a sense of relief from the pain itself. It's really a treat.

Getting diagnosed with Herpes can be the worst moment of your life.
However, in order to safely and confidently date with genital herpes you should definitely know a few things. can help you deal with and overcome any issue which genital herpes might create in your dating life. So take a deep breath. And realize taking little steps every day will help you recover and heal from this experience. And I promise, you will find happiness again.

There is no cure for herpes at this point in time, so I have an issue with people saying that taking a medication will cure it.<br />
<br />
Also, there is no such thing as being a carrier of herpes. You either have it or you don't. Some people have outbreaks, but most do not.

Why take valtrex at this point? The wife has herpes, so unless you have lots of outbreaks, there is no reason to bother with the medication.

Cultures to detect herpes are notorious for false negative results, especially if sores are swabbed more than 48 hours after first appearing. The fact that she tested positive for HSV antibodies in her blood, and had genital sores, strongly indicates she contracted herpes from you. It sounds like she had a very mild outbreak, though. Hopefully she won't have another, or if she does, they will be mild.

You should speak to your doctor about valtrex. I was on it and came off of it years ago because taking it on a daily basis does not allow your body to fight the virus. My doctor advised that i take Valtrex twice a day for three days when I notice the first sign of an outbreak. Hope this helps.

Cold sores are type 1 and genital sores are type 2 in most cases. They are 50% similar in DNA however type 1 is the cause of genital herpes in 30% of cases. Because type 1 resides in the ear and type 2 in the ba<x>se of the spine you will generally not get the repeat outbreaks in the genital area as much as you would with the type 2. Both can be cured with a treatment of Herpaflor <br />
which contains Lysine and other herpes busting ingredients<br />

There is no cure for herpes!

Youre story moved me sir. The fact you were able to have a wife at all is a miracle to me.

I agree with it.
I think girls are easier to be touched.
I dont' even know who would like to date me.

Wow...what a great story