Dating With Herpes....

I have had antibodies for herpes for over 20 years, but only recently had my first outbreak.

I was exposed to it by my husband who has herpes. I found out I had antibodies  when I was pregnant with our first child 20 years ago.  I was tested because of my husband being positive, as it can be very dangerous for a baby during childbirth, if the mother is having an outbreak.  At the time I had no idea what this really meant.  I now have learned that this meant I was exposed to the virus, even though I never had any symptoms.  I believe this must be quite common.  Many more people must have herpes and don’t know it because they don’t have symptoms.  I only had an outbreak recently after becoming chronically ill and my immune system was not functioning.  I was shocked, because I did not have sex for 2 years before the outbreak occurred.  I wasn’t even sure what it was, so I went to my OB right away and had a positive culture for Type 2 herpes.

Now that I have recovered my health and my divorce is pending, I am starting to realize what this means as far as dating.  I would not want to pass it on to anyone else, so it will limit my dating pool to others who have herpes too.  Since at least 1 in 4 have herpes, it may not be too drastic, but it will be a bit awkward!

I have been able to control outbreaks by eliminating sugar from my diet.  I also used coconut oil and oregano oil directly on the blister, never taking prescription medication.  It worked really well.

 So any suggestions for meeting others with herpes? 

awakeningjoy awakeningjoy
46-50, F
8 Responses Mar 26, 2010

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To avoid being awkward, you may try those online Herpes Dating Sites like All the people already have the same problem once they decide to join such sites.

there are some dating sites ive found since finding out i have genital herpes and being only 27 and single but most seem to charge to send messages which sucks as i founf someone else where i live who has it too and i would have liked to chat as only found out recently

For me it had seemed like I'd just have to live with constant and long lasting herpes outbreaks, but I lucked upon a website selling hsv-zero and spend the 40 or so bucks on a small bottle of it. It's got calendula and a few other ingredients used in Germany to treat herpes, in a base of dmso, which both treats the herpes virus and dries out the sores. Anyway, for me it can prevent the outbreaks, and if I use it too late it usually only takes about 3 or 4 days until I'm blister free. So now the disease is actually manageable.

Awakening joy, how sweet.... may I ask when you broke out after twenty years did it last weeks and do you have regular painful outbreaks now? I still think my infection is new, not ex bo was a pharmacist--lol---- just curious. let me know how the dating thing goes, I won't do that for awhile yet . his teddy bear is still in my bed

I'm glad to hear their are people out there who would be interested in a person with h2. how to find them is another question. I haven't dated for almost a year and won't for a while ....I can only date someone who has herpes.. I was going to get married and 4 days after proposing he was gone and I was left with h2. Maybe I had it for years but my first outbreak was 3 wks , long and the valtrex hasn't done a thing for my bi monthly ob's. the drs. said it was a new infection but I wonder. I don't feel so untouchable anymore but the memory of thinking I was going to have a future then being thrown out like trash won't soon be forgotten.

i feel like this everyday.....

are you divorcing because of the herpes

I read your story and I was in the same situation when I was in my twenties. As for dating, there are some great sites out there specifically for singles with herpes. I met some great people while I was single. Unfortunately I marries someone that doesn't have herpes and it has drastically effected our sex life. He said it was no big deal and now that we are married for 7 years we have not had sex for 4 year. I told him that he shouldn't have married me if he new that he wasn't going to be able to deal with it. I was dating a great guy before I met him and we had a stellar sex life but I chose my husband because he was ready for marriage and the other guy wasn't . If it weren't for my two beautiful kids I would say I wish I had never married the person that I did. Anyway, I digress. Dating with herpes is not as difficult as it sounds. Good luck.