Young,dumb,full Of Rum

A silly story from my youth.
Drunk and not wanting to stumble and shuffle the long walk home,we 'borrowed' a clapped out old pushbike from a mates front yard. I'd say bicycle but this was an ancient rusty 'pushie' with absolutely no brakes. (can you see where this is going?)

With Dipstick driving and me on the handlebars we made it to the headland. We lived on the long flat beach road at the bottom of the very steep hill. (You can,can't you?)

It really shouldn't have been a problem,but there was a British touring campervan camped illegally at the parking area which gave Dipsticks smalltown brain an idea. "Let's give the Brits a hoot!" says he as we launch down this massive hill.

He cuts in and we fly past the van-"Wake up yer pom...FARRRRKKK. The council had just put down coppers logs to mark out car spaces which we saw just as one loomed out of the night...

What the sleeping tourists were meant to wake to-"Wake up,yer pommy wankers!"

What they actually woke to was more like- "Wake up yer pom..FARRRKKK!!" Bang,crunch,"Aaargh..." Thump.... "Aaaarr **** owww wow i can see your bone,ha ha ha no way **** that hurts yeah check out the blood get the bike clatter clunk it's rooted bloody poms i can hear you in there funny eh grumble oowww" etc etc into the distance...while we woke the local doctor for much needed stitches,the guys in the van of course laughed themselves back to sleep.

Brits-1, Dipstick- 0. Served us right,what a couple of happy morons we were.
rustyfrog rustyfrog
36-40, F
1 Response Jan 24, 2013