My parents are those types of people that look down on people who aren't seen as right? I guess that's what you could say.

I'm a closest lesbian and I'm planning to keep it from my parents for a long, long time. I've seen how they act towards the LGBT community and it's not something I'm very fond of, they're not physical or anything just say very nasty things. I've had one boyfriend, but I honestly don't remember much about him, all I know is that it was a horrible break up. I've been with a couple of girls but they weren't happy about me not being myself in front of my family so I don't know how I'm supposed to have a relationship with a girl and my family at the same time.

My mother has this weird idea that I'll get a boyfriend by new ANZAC day next year for a family holiday. But I just don't feel right around guys, I'm not attracted to them in a way besides friendship. Is that weird?

This is like a whining, bitching little girl post. I'm sorry. I don't know where I'm going with this, all I know is that sometimes I don't wish to be here anymore.
Monique1996 Monique1996
18-21, F
3 Responses Aug 18, 2014

If you ever decide to tell your parents about your sexuality, they may or may not ever accept it. But even if you don't...you will meet a girl who will understand that. I knew a girl once who told me if we were ever together her parents could never know (they were Indian and would disown her) she was afraid that I would end up leaving her or making her tell her parents ssomeday. She thought I would get offended if she couldn't kiss and hug me in front of them. I told her I didn't care. In front of family...I understand. You love your family...you don't wanna lose them. Parents are from a generation where homosexuality was not openly talked about. They're not used to it. And some still don't accept it. But if I had a girlfriend who couldn't tell her parents about me...I wouldn't care because I understand and the last thing I would want would be to push my girl into telling them...have her parents flip out on her and watch her cry for days and hurt forever over it. As long as I knew she loved me, I wouldn't care because I understand. Someday you will find a girl who is the same way. And what your parents say about gays is wrong...but like I said..parents and old people are ignorant about it because they were raised in a time where homosexuality was not openly talked about, it wasn't very often heard of and they were raised on the beliefs of man with woman, woman with man only. And it sucks but unfortunately that's how it is. I hope someday you can tell your parents because it's hard hiding something so important to you from the people you love most. But it's completely understandable as to why you can't tell them.

I don't think you're being whiney at all. I completely feel you on this issue. I dated two women while I was in college, and I never told my parents because they are pretty homophobic as well. My sister is practically a fundamentalist christian, so I definitely didn't tell her lol. My first girlfriend was completely out and had been probably for most of her life. She knew from a young age that she was only attracted to women, so she never really went through the questioning your sexuality phase. She was constantly getting after me for not coming out to my parents, even though I was completely out in all other parts of my life. It actually caused quite a bit of strife in our relationship. Maybe it wasn't fair to do so, but I told her I would come out to my family only when I knew that we were completely sure our relationship was going to be long term and lasting. Sadly, that relationship ended, and I never told my folks. My next girlfriend was almost COMPLETELY in the closet, so she never gave me guff. That relationship ended up being pretty short term as well. These days, many years later, I am completely, head over heels, in love with my boyfriend, who happens to be ftm. He has been living as a guy for many years now, so I figure it's his choice if he wants to tell people he was not born a biological male. As for coming out to your family, they may not love your lifestyle, but they love you. Maybe it would help to explain to them that being attracted to women is not a choice for you. It just is what it is and there's no changing that. I know it seems extremely scary to tell your parents about your sexuality, but it completely sucks to have to lead a double life. Honesty seems to be the best policy--the worst part is already over by telling, and you don't have to wait on the consequences. They will unfold right before you.

Maybe someday I will tell my parents that my boyfriend is transgender, but only if he wants be to. And I will say, as homophobic as my parents are, they have loosened up a bit over the years. I have always had gay friends, guys and gals, queers and trannies, and my parents eventually got used to them being in and out of the house all the time. My dad, who is completely uptight, even loves my best friend, who is very openly gay. Your parents may surprise you. They will support you because you are you, whether they like your decisions or not. It's ultimately your choice of when you would like to tell them, but I promise you will feel so much lighter and better after having done so. Being able to be yourself completely is the truest freedom. :)

Love the whining ***** post. Chin up eh xx