Fears and Why

  First of all I will say I have had alot of death I had a sister whom had 3 living children and one inside of 5 months and she was killed in a horrible way and burned up with  the baby inside they know who killed her but nothing yet done .Then my brother was murdered 2 years later we are getting judgist now in march for the ones that took his life and then my baby sister age 40 with 3 children alive got brain cancer and passed this last December I was right there with her the whole time and my mother I held her while she passed at home age 63 Then when we lost my baby sister to cancer My daddy fell dead 2 months after her.

 I struggle alot to do anything I stay angery and right now it's anger because I never feel good and I am ashamed to complain so much I feel bad all the time My thinking is all confused to the point I can't get things done that I need to .

I am now on Zoloft and amben to help keep the dreams away.I have had so much tramitic things happen it has cause this awful fear of phones ringing thinking about cancer and all the memories flowing back that hurt to remember and my mind stay s busy doing nothing anymore I have little to no motivation ,Why I have no clue whats wrong with me for sure I don't.....Thanks for any advise

dishmon dishmon
41-45
1 Response Feb 10, 2009

First acknowledge that you have a right to feel very upset. I can't think anyone has had so much tragedy in their life. The mood swings are a reaction to feeling helpless. Give yourself some time. If your having bad mood swings and they are crippling your life, go see your doctor. I had terrible rages, telling off store clerks,people I didn't even know. My family got to the point that they wouldn't go out in public with me. I take a med for it. It works and I"ve lost 17 lbs. since starting it.