Lost In Space

I found out I had HPV once two of the girls I used to see came back to me with the same results... They blame the situation on me and refuse to talk to me, yet I showed no signs of this virus at the time. I'm covered in guilt as I transmitted high-risk HPV to these wonderful women that had prominent futures and we're going to be great mothers. Now the only thing I can think about is how they may never have children because of me... For the past 8 months I have been afraid to tell anyone my story and afraid to become intimate with other women as I feel like I am poison, anything I touch gets destroyed. I used to be the most confident man around all my friends, now I walk with shame, afraid to connect to the outside world. My pride has sewn my mouth shut. How will I ever know if my immune system beats this plague to regain my confidence and my health?
TheSpiritualist TheSpiritualist
22-25, M
2 Responses Dec 15, 2012

I understand you I just found out that I have HPV and I cried the whole day but I think if you have some one that you really trust and won't judge you, you should tell them it feels like a huge weight is lifted off your Shoulders and the support really helps

Oh, for goodness sake. Why does everyone seem to think that HPV has such an impact on fertility? If these women go for regular gynecological exams they should be fine. HPV only becomes life-threatening when a man or woman has it for years and the effected cells become cancerous. When I was diagnosed eleven years ago the doctors diagnosed me with pre-cancer and did a simple outpatient procedure (similar to a chemical peel that many women have done to freshen the skin on their faces). I have had NO abnormal pap exams since. Just tell the next woman you're with that you carry the HPV virus before the two of you get physical. It's really no big deal considering that sex comes with higher risks: like AIDS! After my diagnosis I told each of my boyfriends that I carried HPV and each and every one was like, "okay, so we'll be really careful."