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Trying To Live With HPV

I was tested positive 3 years ago when I was 18 years old. I had lost my virginity that summer and 4-5 months later discovered I had HPV. In my early teen years a hpv vaccine was offered and I got all 3 vaccines on the reccomended dates, so you can imagine my shock finding out I had the sti after taking that pro caution. After speaking with my doc he told me there are MANY strands of the infection and the vaccine only protects against a couple. I had my first flare up 2 years ago and my doctor recommended I see a specialists. The specialists scoped out my cervix and said a little damage could be seen. I didn't freak out though, I don't ever feel any pain or discomfort and no symptoms no warts. However I make sure to always have a pap done every 6 months. I don't really want to see a specialist again unless its important, I know it's safer but it scares me to think of what could be happening. I don't really have anyone who understands what I'm going through- keeping the hpv secret from your friends, the anxious pap results, etc. I feel like they would find me disgusting like I've slept around and was dirty. Hell my own mother won't even drink from a cup I've drank from because she's nervous it can be transmitted through saliva. I've told her she's being ridiculous but I can understand her fear I guess. (Hpv can not be spread through saliva I don't think) I have a boyfriend I've been with for almost 2 years and I told him I had hpv after we were seeing each other for 5 months after we had already had intercourse. He was shocked because of the no symptoms but didn't mind because we are committed to each other and plan to be with each other. I would be lying if I said I have told everyone I've slept with that I have hpv, but I live with that regret everyday and it weighs on me. At first I thought "why do I need to say something? The person who gave it to me didn't give me a heads up" but Awareness is what will save lives. Women need to speak up about hpv and above all get pap tested every year. I have a 6 month checkup tomorrow morning (prob why I'm writing this post so late...I'm nervous) but everyone here understands and that's why I'm here, to share my story and hear yours. It would be nice to talk to someone who knows how I feel:)
hpvgirl101 hpvgirl101 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 8, 2013

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I know the feeling, you are blind-sided by the news that you have HPV and then feel like it's a dirty secret you have to keep. I am 45 and just discovered through a pap test that i too have High Risk HPV. I've been with my husband 12 years, faithfully, so when HPV came up, we were both surprised. Either he or I contracted it at some point in our previous relationships, but it really doesn't matter who did because we both realize that we both had previous intimate relationship that we could have gotten it from. It's helped that i can confide in a few friends that understand but it's still scary and something you just wish you could get out of you. You're not alone though. Many, many people don't even know they have it, so talking to people that you were with in your past potentially won't see their involvement in your problem. I plan to just be an advocate for no sex before marriage OR at least use a condom (though this is not bullet proof protection). Just make people aware of the dangers of STDs and what you're dealing with on a daily basis may help other teens be aware and make other choices. I wish you luck and health.