Story Of Aprilia

I had this condition only months ago when I found out I was pregnant . I'm a newlywed born again Christian and so is my husband , I have a 10 year old son . I remember being sick with my son for months but eventually it subsided after 5 months . Well this baby , my baby girl , was different . I was so uncontrollably sick allll night and day I lie in bed suffering like an animal :( I puked so much eventually over the months blood started coming up , my stool went black In colour and I was rushed to hospital in an ambulance for dehydration where I needed 3 iv bags and the only anti nasea medication that worked for me that they put in my iv was liquid gravel , other anti nasea liquid they tried in iv made it worse . Gravel at home from the drug store, ginger , gingerale, soda crackers, water down apple juice , ect it would all eventually end up in the toilette even minutes after consumption :( i laid there not able to do anything for months. I left my husband and blamed him because I was so hurt and angry I was so sick . My mom was left to take care of my son while I was bedridden and feeling of dying a slow death . I was hopeless , I yelled out to God , i tried meds but nothing worked . Unfortunately being under such stressful and horrific circumstancesI made the regretful decision to terminate my baby at 9 weeks . I was scared of many things , my life and my son needing his mom, working it out with my husband, could I really live like this for 9 months ? So I did the unspeakable with a very heavy heart :( I prayed God keep her sleeping , I prayed for mercy, forgiveness and even compassion from God , I felt like a hypocrite as I was a Christian . I love God , I pray alot I accept his Gift of relationship and the freeing cross .., but I was getting an abortion ? Afterward it was like night and day because my nasea I so struggled and suffered with was gone . It was like the more pregnant I got the more sick I became and I had to make a decision which my fears overtook me . As a woman it changes you , I now am sad , depressed about what I did , I wished I could've tried a little harder a little longer:( but at the same time I wonder would I have survived for 9 months ? My husband forgives me and we tell people even family it was a miscarriage not to shame me or our family but the hurt and grief cuts deep . God did give me a dream of meeting my daughter at a wedding banquet with my sister and she was just a baby raising her little hands in the air praising God and we stood in awe of her :) I think truly that was God being who he is a judger of hearts and a forgiver so full of Grace for me . My daughter we named Aprilia Is in the best hands and I'm still guided by those same hands too :)
KTahlon KTahlon
26-30, F
3 Responses Jan 15, 2013

Beyond Morning Sickness by Ashli McCall is a wonderful resourse for Hyperemesis sufferers. She also terminated because of HG and has a story worth reading. I believe it can help alot if you care to look at it. Her book is the only reason my baby is still growing inside of me. I am currently sixteen weeks and have spent so much time dehydrated, and throwing up I feel like I am dying. It is hard but her book gave me inspiration to keep going. *She has alot about termination because she went through it... I hope this helps!! My prayers go out to you and all other Hyperemesis sufferers and survivors!

I am heartbroken by your story, I am also a born again christian and also terminated by baby due to hypremisis! I have two boys and had hypremisis in my2nd pregnancy but made it though shortly after the birth of my 2nd I fell pregnant again and hypremrsis struck again I couldnt cope with a baby and hypremisis and I decided to terminate my baby and I regret it everyday but I had no support from my gp etc I know my baby is with god and I know im forgiven my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family x

sometimes you have to know what your limitations in life are, my husband and I discussed termination many many times and that we would say it was a miscarriage, which still makes me so sad that this illness is so under supported that people are contemplating and actually having terminations on babies they so desperately want . I distinctly remember saying to my husband its killing me if it kills me it will die anyway. The only reason we didn't terminate is because its my first pregnancy and I can't imagine going through this for any longer than necessary, any extension to a possible 40 weeks was too much for me, so on we go struggle struggle towards a hopeful light at the end of a very long tunnel. You are so brave, don't let anyone judge you, least of all yourself, in this community of Hyperemesis sufferers and survivors we love and support each other, no matter the outcome, no judgement, no question. This is not a benign illness.