Trying To Come To Terms With This

Having this is awful. I've never actually wanted or enjoyed sex my whole life. Maybe its just my persistent depression or other things wrong with my brain but I don't know. It's very confusing because I am capable of getting aroused. It's not like I have ED or something. I don't dislike cuddling and affection, I love that regardless of gender. But every time I've done something sexual with someone I felt like I was forcing myself to. Its not like I haven't tried experimenting with different things sexually either. So I know its not that I'm "just gay" or "really just straight." Its that I just don't seem to like sex at all. In fact I've never even imagined having sex with anyone. I'm worried now that I'll never be able to have a healthy, long term relationship because of this. I'm probably going to bring this up with my therapist soon but its very painful and embarrassing admitting this to anyone in person.
antiflash antiflash
22-25, T
4 Responses Dec 15, 2012

You and I are a lot alike, antiflash which is why were in the same circle. I'm 68 yrs old and I never married, had children and I've been through not being able to get involved with a woman sexually because of my insecurities. But it's not the end of the world. If you live with your parents and have a good relationship, that would be just fine. Sometimes it just takes time for the the right partner to come along and everything will work out.

<p>Well, I have to say, I can relate, even though I don't have HSDD. There are plenty of times in life when there is no sexual contact with anyone, other than yourself, and we all just have to adjust accordingly. By that I mean, no sexual contact = more fantasy life & and more m-bation, obviously (wanna keep those glands healthy...).</p><p>As far as the therapist is concerned, I'd bring it up without waiting. This is really nothing that will shock them (like maybe diapers, ABDL, etc. might). They may have had other clients with similar circumstances in their own lives, and that knowledge may benefit you along your own path. Give them the opportunity to help you figure it out.</p><p>What I would say from my own personal experience is, don't be too hard on yourself. We're all different and unique in some pretty strange ways, and that's all about just being humans in the year 2013. Get out there and live, and don't worry so much about the desired result. It will come, in time... You might just find a partner that is equally matched to your needs, and you'll find you both have all the right tools to make it through life just like everyone else, with plenty of enjoyment (sunsets, beach visits, concerts, day trips, etc.) along the way.</p><p>Good luck with it!</p>

Well, I had told him about my abdl side before along with the bedwetting and other issues. And he reacted well to that. So I knew once I said it that it wouldn't be a big deal. Just hard for me to spit out. I also started dating a friend of mine around february. At first I was a little worried since he's a bi 19 year old. But since he's abdl too and really loves getting to indulge that side of him regularly (along with the rest of what I bring to the relationship) he says the lack of sex isn't an issue. So far we're pretty happy together.

maybe because your on guard and can't put your feeling separate or let them go. That makes it a job instead of a pleasure. Autoeroticism is the only sex that I have ever had.

We have something in common. Not everything but generally speaking, most. I've seen a psychotherapist since I was 19 yrs old. I discontinued about 15 years ago. I've never had a girl friend because it was too painful to relate to people because of my mstifying fetish. I've enjoyed MAS******ing, however, afterward I felt such guilt and shame, I felt all the worse. I didn't have a name for this fetish. I thought I was the only one in the world. It was from EP that I started to understand. Now I try to just enjoy the eroticism for what it's worth. It takes my mind off other problems and adds quality to my life.