I'm Very Afraid And Paranoid. Is It Normal? How Can I Stop It?


I'm 17 and I've been really paranoid about cancer ever since I can remember. I'm very afraid of getting it, and sometimes I feel desperate about it. I usually feel just fine, but there are sometimes (like twice a year or so) when I get REALLY paranoid and I convince myself that I suffer from cancer. This usually lasts a few weeks, sometimes even a month or so. I'm very afraid to go to the doctor because I fear what I might say. Most of the times my parents get SO SICK of me being all depressed and worried that they force me into going to the doctor. I never got any exam done, but doctors always say that it's nothing and I'm just a paranoid child. Every time there's a new symptom, or a new type of cancer that concerns me. Once I thought I had skin cancer due to a little pimple in my harm. I also felt my skin burning when I touched it, and I felt tired...eventually those symptoms (and the pimple...) passed and I forgot about it. But every time something strange happens to me, or I feel a bit down or see something on the news about cancer, or hear about someone suffering from it, I get one of those episodes. Sometimes I convince myself I have brain cancer (that's the one that scares me the most) and eye cancer. Anyway, in my mind, I have had almost every type of cancer. And the worst part is that I actually feel the symptoms. It's not just paranoia and unreasoned fear of it. Like, I sometimes get these weird headaches in different parts of my head, I also feel a weird sensation in my vision and I get very obsessed about it. Spend my days just thinking about it, without a rest. I get REALLY sick of these thoughts, and I just cry, exhausted. Deep inside I know I'm just making up symptoms but I also fear that it ain't just my imagination...something might really be there. My father also suffers from this carcerophobia and he gets very depressed easily. Since he was a kid he was also convinced that he had a brain tumor until a few years, when he finally did several exams. And nothing was wrong. He got better since then, but sometimes he still gets paranoid and depressed. I think I got that from him. He also felt weird symptoms like his head was pumping out, awkward visions, dizziness, etc. Anyway, I'm really getting full of these thoughts and I'm going crazy. Now I'm terrified that I might have brain cancer. Because the boyfriend of a friend of mine discovered he has a stomach cancer and that made me remember my paranoia. I always know when I'm gonna get this way. But I can't avoid it anyway. I'm scared. I sometimes feel dizzy, I have headaches, difficulties concentrating, weird vision and I feel terribly tired. But the stupid thing is, when I forget it, or when I concentrate on something else, this symptoms go away. Even so, I still think I might have something and I keep having nightmares about it. I can't control myself and I feel miserable. I'm not afraid of dying. I just DON'T want it to be from cancer. I'm really terrified with that idea :( I've been to a shrink several times and I've also been on antidepressants, psychologists, tried everything and still can't fix it. I need help. Is there anyone who has this same problem as I do? Is there a chance I really have cancer? I'm so afraid :( 
PlingNightmare PlingNightmare
18-21
Jul 10, 2010