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Weight ... why must you fluctuate?

I was never super thin but always within the healthy weight range on the bmi charts. When I was diagnosed as a teen, I didn't understand how devastating the effects could be on the human body. A little tired yes, but nothing too serious, and it certainly didn't hinder my social life. About two years ago, I was hit with a serious bout of depression and I just went off my pill. I simply stopped caring about myself.
I won't even put a number to my weight gain but it was SERIOUS. I became unrecognizable. Embarrassment and shame swallowed me whole and I became a recluse. Whenever I chanced going out, I always managed to run into a friend or acquaintance. and their reactions will stay with me forever. Just thinking about it makes me want cover myself in a thousand blankets and hide from the world. The low thyroid also contributed to me sinking into an even deeper depression. Overall it was bad ... just really, really bad.
It was only after my husband put his foot down and dragged me to the doctor that my life became mine again. Since he hadn't seen me for a year, my physician's first words were "What happened to you?!" He was mortified.
I'm lucky though, as soon as I went back on medication the weight dropped off. Nearly a year later and I'm 11 lbs from what I used to be before the nightmare began. I still have slightly low energy but my depression isn't close to being what it was. I'm happy to be healthy again but it just SUCKS that this has to be a lifelong commitment. I can never be free of hypothyroid ... never ... or else I risk becoming a prisoner of my own body once again.
JustaCherry JustaCherry 22-25, F Apr 15, 2012

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