I Have Ibs
This week I finally got a proper diagnosis for my stomach issue. It is IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome). The good news is it won't damage my body in any permanent way. Also good is that contrary to popular thought, it's not diet related. What sucks is that this condition stems from my levels of serenity (or lack thereof) and stress. My specialist and I discussed things and we both agree my ways of coping with my anxiety need additional care.
I've worked so damn hard to be okay in this life. The last few years I've been doing so well that I have virtually felt unaffected by my childhood drama. I thought I was healed. Over it even. The last 17 years I have spent dealing head on with my own addictions, have gone consistently to therapy, learned to believe in and love myself and have gotten rid of toxic friends/lovers. So why is it I am still plagued by anxiety to the point of severe physical episodes?
For quite a while I've felt this stomach thing was closely tied to self care and something emotional. Yet I hoped in the long run I could take a pill or not eat a certain something and all would heal. The specialist said I need more therapy and to incorporate in my daily routine more calm, more peace of mind. It's true I don't meditate much but I walk every day, pray, go to recovery meetings and have eliminated destructive thinking. But I still need help. I'm still struggling. This realization is disappointing. It's even harrowing to a degree. Yet I know beneath it all is an opportunity to finally jump off the precipice and be who I'm to be.
I've worked so damn hard to be okay in this life. The last few years I've been doing so well that I have virtually felt unaffected by my childhood drama. I thought I was healed. Over it even. The last 17 years I have spent dealing head on with my own addictions, have gone consistently to therapy, learned to believe in and love myself and have gotten rid of toxic friends/lovers. So why is it I am still plagued by anxiety to the point of severe physical episodes?
For quite a while I've felt this stomach thing was closely tied to self care and something emotional. Yet I hoped in the long run I could take a pill or not eat a certain something and all would heal. The specialist said I need more therapy and to incorporate in my daily routine more calm, more peace of mind. It's true I don't meditate much but I walk every day, pray, go to recovery meetings and have eliminated destructive thinking. But I still need help. I'm still struggling. This realization is disappointing. It's even harrowing to a degree. Yet I know beneath it all is an opportunity to finally jump off the precipice and be who I'm to be.
By:
Frantasm
Age:
36-40
,
Female
