Can't Sleep

I haven't been able to sleep for the past 3 weeks, to much going on, wife had affair and it's driving me crazy. I've been only getting sleep when my body finally gives up on itself. Even then its only for an hour or two. Find myself leaving home in the morning and on the way to work finding a parking lot to sleep in the car for an hour with the engine running. I wake up and usually feel amazingly refreshed. I'm still not eating very well though, usually one small meal a day. Nice side effect, I'm losing weight, but I'm afraid of what effect this is having on my body. I can't believe the amount of energy I still have. I usually stay up all night on EP till about 4:30 - 5am sleep for an hour and get up just in time for the wife to come home so I can leave. Really don't want to have much to do with her at this point in time. I just leave to get out of the house so we don't get into it. ThenI go to work and stare at a computer screen all day. I'm a creative director for a manufacturing company. I wish I had a different job right now, one that was more repetitious and mundane. It is so difficult to be creative when you're feeling the way I do right now. No creative juices flowing at all, its like someone shut the spigot off. Normally it all just flows naturally, I can start designing and it all works. Lately I design something and come in the next day and look at what I did the day before and see what crap I did. None of my designs are up to the caliber they once were. Its funny because just like my appetite has diminished and yet I feel some hunger pangs but decide to ignore them, Sleep wise I'm not tired at all. Even now at 3:30am I'm awake and not sleepy. I hope I do get to sleep though because the wife gets out of work at 7am today. I really don't want to be awake when she does. Right now I would much rather be dead to the world, kinda like the deadness I feel right now with her. I was thinking about a few beers and a couple of tylenol PMs but I'm not that courageous. I wouldn't mind drinking myself to sleep though. Kinda take some of the pain away. Only thing is its temporary. When you wake up the pain is still there and so is she. I don't know if our situation will ever improve, I wish it would but hey there are no guarantees in life. I could die tomorrow, at least I know my parents and siblings would care.
lostandscared lostandscared
36-40, M
1 Response Dec 8, 2007

Have you been in doctor? Could they help?