We Meet Again After 39 Years

Maybe a story,maybe a confession, probably both. A little bit about myself first. I am a 61 years old man and this story started when I was a 16 year old boy in 1965. Where that 45 years went is beyond me. One beautiful moon lit summer night in the Oklahoma prairie, I meet this gorgeous green eyed girl. She was stuffing hay down my neck on a hayride. Yes a hayride, something that was done back then . It was just weeks after my 16th birthday, she was fifteen. If there was ever such a thing as love at first sight, we were a prime example. We spent two wonderful years together, learning everything we could about loving each other. In 1967 I left for college just a few hours away from her. Our world, or at least mine started to fall apart. She later told me she felt abandoned. Anyway, she seemed to have just drifted away and all my efforts to keep her just failed. The Army was after me and I decided to join the Navy in the Spring of 1968, to stay away from the Army and to try and put her behind me. We had very little contact after I left. On occasions we seemed to be heading back towards each other but time an distance kept us apart. She married a wealthy rancher in the fall of 1969 to my total and heartbreaking surprise. In the Spring of 1970 while I was home on leave she contacted me and we meet. It was such a bitter sweet moment. Seeing her again but knowing she was married. She informed me that she had married him for his money and not love, that she had made the biggest mistake of her life. She ask that I take her back and she would leave him if I just said so. With every ounce of self discipline that I could muster up, I said it would be your decision, something I could not make. We said our goodbyes and did not see each other again for 39 years. Years ago I moved 900 miles away from the Oklahoma prairie. By chance 2 years ago I was arriving in OKC to visit my parents, she was returning home from a trip. We noticed each other at the baggage claim, we later admitted it felt just like that moon lit night all over again. We managed to talk for an hour and talked alot about fate.. During the following two years we manged to see or be with each other four times. We both admitted later it was the most exciting yet most destructive thing we could have ever done.
The first year we were almost to the point of destroying our marriages and our lives. We both became blinded and crazy, but the more we meet the more guilt we felt. We both realized that "what might have been" will more than likely always be a mystery. She has now been married to an abusive husband for more than 40 years. I have been married to a wonderful woman for 36 years, a woman that never deserved my behavior. It took a lot of understanding on my part to understand how she could live that long in a bad marriage. She explained it would have its periods of calm and then cycle back and forth. Then one day 40 years had past and it was too late , she had financial security, wonderful children and grandchildren to fulfill her life and then I understood. We both admitted the highlights of our affair was sharing our children s and grandchildren s lives.
Some of the interesting things that we discovered was that it felt like we just started where we stopped. We know that we both still love each other deeply and that our youthful love sort of shielded us from ever sharing that feeling with anyone else. We agreed to meet for the last time several months ago and say our goodbyes. We exchanged gifts and shared one of the most passionate moments of our lives. We realize that we have to remember each other as if we have died. We know that we can never see or speak to each other again.This is something we both felt and knew. We think we accomplished something that few people ever have. To experience this wonderful love again, have a wonderful respect for each other and be able to mutually walk away from it intact and no damage to our families.We both know how we will always feel about each other, call it foolishness or call it true love, call it totally wrong, it was all of it. We brought a dream back to life, lived it for awhile and put it back where it belongs. Wow, life gets crazy but I smile a lot and I appreciate my life and my wife more than ever, JW
15south 15south
2 Responses Aug 6, 2010

Thank you for posting your story here. It is extremely touching.

I LOVE this story I feel kind of sad you two never really got to see what you could've had.