Sleep Deprived

I have sleep maintenance insomnia , and a couple of other sleep disorders, which make sleeping a challenge at best, impossible at the worst. The SMI was caused by waking up during surgery 4 years ago. At first, I guess, for about a year and a hal after, I would get an hour to an hour and a half of sleep a night. These days I usually get about 5- 6 1/2 hours( good night) to 3-4 hours on a bad night. I resist sleeping because it brings nightmares ( not as often as years past), but still too often for my liking. I can get to sleep on my own, but if I wake up in the middle if the night (I usually do), then it takes me about an hour to two hours to fall back asleep. All I want to do is rest, but sleep is denied to me. It makes me jelous to hear about other people getting more than 7 hours of sleep, and then they complain they didn't sleep well. It rankles me.